Lovesong
by emeralazzaly
Summary: Special Agent Spencer Reid and Kara Winchester (o/c) are separately dragged to a club by friends wanting to set them up. What will happen when they meet? Will Spencer's job put one or both of them in danger?
1. 1: Would You Want To Dance

_**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own the beautiful Dr. Reid. Nor do I own any of the other criminal minds characters listed in these chapters. I also do not own any of the songs, or movies used here. There are several facts and quotes also from criminal minds that I did not come up with. However, Kara and her family, Jessie, the unsubs, Stephen and his band, the coffee shop and its workers are all mine. This is rated M for sexual situations, some language, and some violence. The title used is the song "Lovesong" by the Cure. I thought it was appropriate. Hope you enjoy!  
**_

Shutting the door to the cooler, I leaned back against the door and took a deep breath, wishing I was somewhere else. Today was the big lecture on campus and here I was, at work, missing it. I needed to take a break and went into the walk in cooler to relax for a minute. "It's so slow today," I mumbled to myself, sitting down on a nearby crate and putting my head in my hands. I sat there for a few minutes, debating sneaking out the back door and running down to the college. Deciding that was not the best course of action, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and pulled up the app to the school's website. Once there, I opened the link to the live feed. Members of the FBI's Behavior Analysis Unit stood in front of the podium, discussing the most recently solved cases. Special Agent Prentiss was discussing the profile they had created about the unidentified subject (unsub), with the others chiming in at their discretion. I gave myself in to it for a couple of minutes, listening intently on what they said, when the door of the cooler opened, revealing one of my coworkers.

"What are you doing in here?" Stephen asked, placing his hands on his hips, "I'm absolutely bored out of my mind."

Shoving my phone back in my pocket, I stood up and followed him out into the coffee shop, "Well, ya know, taking a minute to rot my mind with the latest lecture from the BAU taking place as we speak at my very own college." I was at the end of my first year at graduate school, getting my masters in psychological therapy and behavior analysis at the nearby college where the BAU was giving a lecture.

"Yea, I hate you had to miss that," he stated, leaning back on a nearby counter.

"The boss is out to get me, I'm telling you. We are just _so_ busy today, I don't know how we are going to function," I exclaimed dramatically, waving my arm around the empty coffee shop.

Stephen laughed, "Yea I know, Saturdays suck."

"Yes they do, and do I ask for them off? Nope. I work every. Single. One. Without complaint, may I add and the one time I want it off it's: 'I'm sorry Kara, no can do. There are important people in town and people are going to want their coffee.'"

"You speak the truth my friend, he said it just like that! I understand though, last time I needed a Saturday off was for the big Kings of Leon concert and the answer was no."

I rolled my eyes, "Stephen, that's not anywhere near the importance of this lecture, no offense. I mean, Richard knows that I want to work for the FBI. Profiler, psychologist, secret agent, whatever. This was the perfect opportunity for me to meet some pretty important people and I had to miss it for this stupid place. It's irritating."

"Maybe they will stop by," Stephen said hopefully.

"Not when there's a StarBucks right there," I stated, pointing out the window.

"Very true. Guess you will have to get into the FBI using your intelligence and your good looks."

"Yea okay," I laughed, going back to wiping down the counters, wishing that one of the members of the BAU would indeed walk through the door.

Later on that evening, I found myself sitting alone in my room, drowning my sorrows from missing the lecture into my favorite television show. I heard my cousin yelling my name as she bounded up the stairs of our two bedroom house. She let herself into my bedroom, brown curls bouncing, and plopped down on my bed.

"Hey." She stated, looking at me with crazy amounts of excitement behind her big hazel eyes.

"Hey," I replied, hitting pause on my DVR, "Dude, this is my last episode of 48 hours mystery before I have to start studying for finals. I really just want to continue to immerse myself in this until it's over."

"I know, I know, but you are not going to want to miss this," she said, pulling me up from the bed and dragging me to my walk in closet. "Get your sexiest outfit because we are going out on the town."

"I really can't, I have to study so I can-"

"No no no! Listen! You aren't listening!" she exclaimed, shoving me down onto a chair and tossing garments into my lap "Remember that guy from freshman year who I dated and swore up and down he had connections to the FBI and we thought he was just making up crap? Wellllll he came back in town today with a _certain_ group of people who were giving a lecture over at the college this afternoon that you wanted to go to but couldn't because of work. And he is going to take us out to partay with them"

I raised a skeptical eyebrow at my cousin, "Jessie, please tell me you aren't really going to believe this guy."

"Kara, I'm telling you, it's for real! Don't ask me how I know, I just do. You know I get feelings about these things," she said, pointing her finger at me. She picked up a pair of my thigh high leather boots and sat them down in front of me, "Yes those will do."

I shook my head, "Um, no they won't. Those are special use only. I'm not going out dancing in those things. I will attract all kinds of filth."

"Not Filth, cuz, the infamous Dr. Reid."

"You have lost your mind. Just because I have kept up with his lectures and essays doesn't mean that I'm head over heels for him. I do that with all the members of the BAU, all of that stuff _interests me, " _I insisted, the redness rising in my cheeks betraying my every word.

"Whatever you want to say, Kara, but I know the truth. His lectures have more views on your IPOD."

"You're a snoop."

"Just observing the facts. Look, you haven't seriously dated in years, after that creep Danny broke your heart. I think that you need to consider going out on a date."

"This is just ridiculous," I stated, "I haven't had any problems with guys, ever. Sure I've dated some creeps, but haven't we all. What about this Michael that is claiming to be going out with the BAU tonight? He knows I want to work for the FBI and he is just saying this stuff to get into your pants again. And even if Dr. Reid was there, what the crap would I say to him?"

Jessie put a finger to her lip, "Hmmm, how about 'I think you are a beautiful and intelligent man, would you care to have some drinks and dance the night away? I love that thing you do where you tuck those stray strands of hair behind your ear," or, or you could go subtle, "Dr. Reid, I think you are fabulous, want to come back to my home and read the latest literature?'"

I laughed at my cousin, standing up and dropping all of the clothes to the floor, "Now I know you've really lost your mind. Look, I will go with you, but just because I am _not_ letting you go out with that creep alone. If the BAU is there, I will deal with it then." I could see the happiness on my cousin's face as I picked up my leather pants and long cream colored tank from the floor, "Just remember, you will be coming back home with me. So don't get any crazy ideas," I added quickly, before turning around and heading to the bathroom.

After a quick shower and putting on some club appropriate make up, I pulled my clothes on, adding several bracelets to my right arm and my Tiffany watch and black pearls on my left. My black heels were waiting on me by the door, along with my cousin in her jeans and black tank top. "Just wait, Kara, you are going to die when we go and they are there."

Rolling my eyes, I put on my heels and followed her out to her Altima. It was an older model, one that she and I had ridden around in since she had turned 16. Sometimes I envied her for her ability to minimize and be thrifty, but I was one of those girls who worked hard for my money and spoiled myself accordingly. Our families were a lot different, our mothers were sisters who married into to two totally different families. Mine, a wealthy doctor and Jessie's a farmer in the country. We'd both decided to go to the same college and then the same graduate school, looking to make names for ourselves separate from both our families. She wanted more money and prestige; I wanted a fulfilling job that could help me be an individual, separate from the success of my family. I didn't want to be Mr. Winchester's daughter forever; I wanted to be my own entity.

The more I thought about these things, the closer we got to the club, the more nervous I got that if the BAU was there, I wouldn't fit in with them. I was a lot younger than they were, just turned 23, and had no clue what I would say to make conversation with them. I'd always dreamed about being a member of the FBI, several different jobs appealing to me. I was still trying to decide what pathway to take, since I had one more year of graduate school, I had a few more months to decide for sure.

Jessie noticed my ever present knee wiggling up and down in anticipation, "Kara, you need to chill out girl. If you go in there all nervous, you won't be able to make a good impression. I'm doing this for you, ya know."

"I know, I'm just not prepared, and you know me, that never happens."

Jessie went on about how I shouldn't be nervous and I needed to relax but I just tuned her out for the reminder of the ride. I was an in charge kind of girl and always prepared for what needed to be done. Reminding myself that I was doing this for my cousin, I took several deep breathes and tried to concentrate on the sound of her voice. When we arrived at the club, we pulled out our ID's and met Michael at the front door. He was the same guy I remembered from Freshman year, clad in jeans and a button up shirt, his blonde hair arranged in small spikes on his head.

Michael stepped up to Jessie with open arms, "Hey girls! It's so glad to see you! Are you excited? This is going to be such a fun night! Everyone is here! Garcia, Prentiss, Morgan, Hotchner, JJ, Rossi, and Reid."

My stomach dropped at the mention of his name. _Oh god._

"I need a fun night out after all the studying we've been doing for finals," Jessie smiled, following Michael into the club with me behind them.

It was dark inside, lite up by several multicolored laser lights all over the place. Black lights, rock and roll music mixed with hip hop and pop, the biggest club for miles. I handed my ID to the girl behind the counter, while Michael proceeded to pay for both me and Jessie's tickets. I let my eyes wonder over the crowd of people, looking for a familiar face from the BAU whose faces I'd memorized while digging into any book I could get ahold of to educate myself on my dream job.

I followed Jessie and Michael, not really listening to them due to the loud music pounding in my ear, until I saw them. I froze. They were all hanging out around the pool table, looking like normal people (_as if they'd look abnormal)_, playing pool and having drinks, also occupying the tables nearby. _Oh dear _, I thought as my eyes found that mop of messy long brown hair, the button up shirt, mismatched tie, corduroys, and converse shoes. Jessie noticed I was no longer following them and came back to grab my hand, "Oh come on, Kara. They look really nice."

My pulse was racing, my heart in my throat, "I'm going to need a drink," I said, following her to the table.

Derek Morgan and Dr. Spencer Reid sat at the table beside the pool table, which is where Michael and Jessie decided would be our first stop. I felt myself pulling myself backwards, but unable to get away because of Jessie's death grip on my hand. Both men stood up, Derek giving a high five and half hug to Michael, while Dr. Reid shook his hand. Reid's eyes moved over Jessie's and then to mine, deep brown eyes that I could get lost in. _Oh dear. _

Michael and Jessie slipped into the booth beside Derek, leaving the only open seat for me, beside Reid.

"I'm Derek Morgan," Derek stated, extending his hand to me.

"Kara Winchester," I smiled, taking the hand.

My gaze turned to the only open seat and it's occupant, "I'm Dr. Reid, um Spen, Spencer Reid."

"Hi," I managed to reply, still standing beside the booth.

"Dude, aren't you going to make room for her?" Derek asked.

Dr. Reid looked around nervously, "Oh yea, um. Sorry." He scooted over to make room for me and I slid in beside him, balancing myself on the edge of the booth. I caught a sly smile out of both Jessie and Derek's faces, which told me that they were all in on this. Jessie must have already met them and here I was left speechless like an idiot. I remember reading in Gideon's book that Derek would often try to set up Dr. Reid. _Crap. _

The waiter arrived in perfect time for me to order a strong drink, while the rest of the table began making pleasant conversation. Reid was going into detail about something, it was loud in the club and I was not close enough to hear everything he said. And I was too busy trying not to fall out of the booth or bite my nails. The waiter returned with our drinks, two for one margaritas thankfully, and I began sipping on it.

"So, Kara is studying criminal justice actually. She has read all of your books and hopes to work in the BAU someday," Jessie said, smiling at me, trying to get me in the conversation but embarrassing the crap out of me at the same time. I felt the fire well up in my cheeks, taking a long sip of my margarita.

"That's impressive, Kara," Reid stated, going into a lengthy explanation of criminal justice and women and I don't know, I was too stuck on him speaking my name.

"Dude, I'm sure she doesn't need to know those statistics, way to scare her off," Derek stated, puling me back into the conversation.

"Oh I apologize," Reid stated, looking in my direction.

I smiled, feeling the alcohol start to work its magic, "It's okay, no problem."

The conversation continued on, the five of us ended up laughing and talking as the night went on and our drinks took hold of us. I felt myself shifting in the booth, easing my way closer to Reid, and into the conversation. I'd never had any problems talking to guys before, this was just a special case, seeing as I _had _read his books and _did _look up to him. _What would I do if this were someone else at a club?_ I asked myself.

"Would you want to dance, Dr. Reid?" I asked, wishing I could pull them back after the words were out.

Those brown eyes turned to me and he smiled that brilliant smile, "Please, call me Spencer. And I must apologize, I don't really dance."

"Oh come on, man. One dance won't kill ya," Derek said, "You might even find you like it."

Spencer shook his head, "I don't think so. Did you know that dancing originated as a way to tell stories-"

I reached out and placed my finger on his lips. "Shh, it's just a dance, _Spencer,_" I laughed and, grabbling his hand, pulling out of the booth with him behind me. I saw the sneaky smile on Jessie's face, pleased with herself that she had been able to coerce me into coming and then continuing to provide me with alcohol until I felt comfortable enough to be myself around _the _Spencer Reid.

I'm sure I heard him objecting all the way towards the dance floor. I made a detour to the bar and asked for two shots, handing one to him.

"I really don't need to-" he started to say.

I shook my head at him and clanked my glass against his, "To bravery". He shrugged his shoulders and took his shot with me, right before my favorite song came on and I drug him out on the dance floor. Arriving on the dance floor, I pulled him to me, dancing with my eyes locked on his. This was a fun song and I could feel myself dancing crazy and singing along with the song, at the same time that Spencer laughed and tried to dance as well. Occasionally we would see Jessie, Derek and the others watching us, laughing at the sometimes uncomfortable looks Spencer would give them as I kept making him dance with me. I could tell he was having a good time; he just wasn't the best dancer and was probably feeling pressure just like I was from his friends to have a fun time. Eventually, the rest of the crew made it out onto the dance floor with us, continuing to provide us with shots, leaving me to my normal goofy self, with no problem making myself comfortable up against Spencer during the more elicit songs. Leaving Spencer more comfortable out on the dance floor and open to dancing with me until late in the night.


	2. 2: You Need To Study

The next morning I awoke with a major headache and unfamiliar feeling of cotton sheets on my skin, in contrast to my normal satin sheets. I rubbed my eyes, my hands coming away with dark make up. Ugg, I thought to myself, thinking that I must have make up all over my face. But… where was I? I slowly opened my eyes, taking in the tidy room with books sparsely placed around the room. I could see a large window from where I was laying, the sunlight streaming in through the grey curtains. _Oh dear, _I noted, noticing that I was clad only in my black lacy bra and panties. My heart racing, I braced myself for the telling moment, half scared to see who, if anyone, was occupying the other half of the bed. I bit my lip, turning around to see Spencer sleeping peacefully, with the covers pulled up to his chin, his brown hear glistening with what I could only guess as sweat. I racked my brain, trying to think back to what happened the night before. Finding nothing, I slowly pulled the covers off my body and slipped out of bed. My stomach rumbled and my head pounded, flashbacks of the night hitting me like a train wreck. Dancing in the club with Spencer, riding the taxi cab back to his place, my hands tangled in his hair, the noticeable smell of coffee and liquor on his breath. _Geez what a night,_ I thought, still unsure of what my memories were telling me. Looking around, I noticed a bathroom on the other side of the bed. I tiptoed towards the door, grabbing my clothes off the floor on my way. Once inside, I shut the door behind me and looked in the mirror.

"Ew" I whispered to myself, seeing the make up smeared all over my face. I took a tissue and some soap, trying to minimize the black marks all over myself. Once looking somewhat presentable, I gave myself a long hard stare in the mirror, wishing I had something for this awful headache. Flashbacks, hitting me with every large pounding of my head: Spencer locking the door behind him, offering me some water, me undoing that hideous tie, his hands in my hair, pulling me down with him onto the bed.

"Hey," I heard, as the door opened, interrupting my thoughts. I looked up to see Spencer standing in the doorway, his hair all askew and still in his boxers. I freaked, reaching for a towel on a nearby rack to cover my half naked body, losing my balance, and falling to the floor, pulling the towel over on top of me.

He rushed over to my side, "Kara, are you okay?"

I buried my red face into the towel, embarrassed to let the klutz get the best of me. "I'm just having a hard time…I don't know…my head hurts."

I felt him place a hand on my face, lifting it to look into his lovely brown eyes, "Why don't you get dressed and I will get you something for that."

I nodded, watching him leave the room. I laid back in the floor, pulling the towel over my head. "Great job Kara, act like an idiot why don't you. Oh geez." I pulled myself up from the floor, using the counter to help me keep my balance. Picking up my clothes from the counter, I noticed the horrible odor of liquor and hours of dancing. There was no way I was wearing that again today. I peeked my head out of the door, seeing no sign of Spencer. I saw a button up shirt on his sitting on the bed with a note on it, "In case your clothes smell as bad as mine". Smiling to myself, I put the shirt on, hoping it would fit my curvy figure. Thankfully, Spencer wears his shirts somewhat big, because it was large enough to cover all my essentials. _And it smells like him, _I thought, feeling like a total stalker.

I stepped outside of the bedroom and followed the smell of coffee down the hallway. I found Spencer standing in a sparse kitchen, pouring a glass of coffee, thankfully fully dressed. Surely I could make decent conversation with him without looking like an idiot, considering the circumstances.

"That smells amazing," I stated, standing beside him and inhaling the scent of coffee.

Spencer smiled that wonderful smile of his, "This isn't for you if you feel that bad. Caffeine can increase the effects of a hang over and it's better if you have your vitamin C and potassium." He pointed to the table, where a glass of orange juice and a banana sat.

I frowned, "Oh, well sad day. I guess you are the doctor here." I sat down at the table, noticing two pills sitting beside the glass of juice.

"For the headache," he stated as he sat down in the seat across from me.

Nodding my head, I popped the pills into my mouth, downing the majority of the glass of orange juice with it. "Thanks."

"No problem. I see you had the same issue I did with my clothes this morning."

It took me a second to register what he had said. I looked down at my clothes and laughed, "Yea, they were pretty gross. Thanks for being willing to let a strange girl wear your clothes."

"You're not strange at all. I don't have many visitors here so I wanted to make sure you are comfortable. I had a really good time last night. It's been a while since I've had that much fun."

I raised my head, looking into his eyes and trying to decipher his meaning, "About that…I don't really remember everything that happened last night."

Dr. Reid tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ears, "Well," he began, "we danced for a while, you did an awfully suggestive karaoke version of Kesha's new song-"

"Oh dear…" I said, interrupting his trail of thought and sank further into my chair, memories coming back with me singing to Spencer on stage.

"You're a pretty good singer; you should consider finding an agent."

"Thanks…so after the singing?" I asked, pressing for more information.

His eyebrows narrowed, as if unsure, "That's where it gets kind of fuzzy. I, um, remember us taking a cab back here and, well…you have to forgive me, I don't drink a lot to the point of memory loss, it's sort of embarrassing."

"You got that right. Look Dr. Reid-"

"Spencer," he corrected.

"_Spencer_, I'm just going to be blunt here and say that I have some pretty vivid, random but vividly sexual, flashbacks…"

He looked around nervously, eyes settling on his coffee mug, "Yes, um, well I'm fairly certain we didn't have intercourse."

Part of me sighed with relief and part of me was kind of disappointed, "Well that's good, I'd hate for us to neither remember our first time together, I mean, ya know if that were to happen…or something."

"Of course," he stated, both of us falling quiet and finding a new found concentration on our drinks. We stayed that way for several seconds, awkwardness filling the room like an elephant. His shirt feeling more and tighter on me the longer we sat there.

"So you've read my books, huh," he said, ending the what seemed like forever long silence.

"Yea, that would be my loud mouth cousin spreading my life out there in the open," I laughed, "I dream of working at the FBI some day and I have read several books by you_ and_ the other members of the current team. Of course, I also find you very attractive and incredibly smart."

_That _smile spread on his face, infecting my own to mimic his smile, "I find that very flattering. I obviously find you very attractive or I would not have brought you back to my home last night. And for what it's worth, I did sincerely have a good time and, ya know, if you ever need anything you could call."

"I had fun too, Spencer. If I didn't have some horrible emergency needing an FBI profiler could I still call you?"

"Yes of course, maybe we could do something this week if things aren't too crazy."

_Ugg this week…finals. _"I would absolutely love to, but I have finals to study for and I have to pass them or I will not be able to get into the doctorate programs I've applied to. They are this week…and don't you have to work?"

"There is always the possibility that I will have to fly out, but I understand why you can't go out this week. Perhaps another time then. School is certainly very important. Um, How's your headache?"

"It's feeling better, thank you."

Before I could ask him about rescheduling our date, his phone rang.

"Dr. Reid," he said simply, listening to the voice on the other end, "Yes I will be right there." He hung up the phone, turning to me, "I have to go, there's a case I need to take care of."

"Even though it's the weekend?"

"Yea sometimes that happens," he explained, picking up our plates and cups and sitting them in the sink. He pulled out a plastic bag from his drawer and handed it to me, "here you can put your clothes in this and I can take you home."

"Thank you," I stated, taking the bag from his hand and gathering up my clothes from the other room. As we left the front porch of his apartment, I took in his old lightly colored Volvo waiting for us in the driveway.

"Old faithful, huh," I laughed as he opened the door for me.

He smiled back at me, lighting up my world, "You could say that."

He shut the door and joined me on the inside of the car. I couldn't help but giggle as we began the ride to my house in something that looked like it belonged in the 60s.

Once we said our goodbyes, I ran up the stairs and into the apartment. I watched him pull off and go down the street before I shut the door behind me.

"Well look what the genius dragged in," my cousin said, walking into the foyer, "How was he?"

"Jessie!" I exclaimed at her sexual innuendo, and brushing past her, walked up the stairs.

"Obviously something happened because you are wearing his clothes."

I suddenly remembered I had on his button up shirt and tried to hide my blush, "Well obviously my clothes were nasty from the dancing and drinking last night so I had to wear something else."

"Uh huh," she said, crossing her arms and leaning on the door to my room.

"Yeah," I said, sitting my bag of clothes down on the bed and sitting down beside them, "man I drank way too much last night. Everything is such a blur. Thankfully, Spence remembered enough to know that we didn't go _that _far last night. It was embarrassing enough waking up half dressed in his bed."

"Oh. My. Gosh. You mean you stayed over there and nothing happened? Girl, you guys were all over each other when you left the club. Everyone was shocked; he never acts like that in public! Especially around girls. And it's 'Spence' now is it?"

"Yeah well, it's probably better this way. He's got to go into work and I'm stuck here studying and doing finals all week. I'm sure by the end of the week he will have completely forgotten about me."

"I doubt that. Girl, you should have seen yourself sing that new Kesha song to-"

"I know!" I exclaimed, interrupting her, "There's no telling what other stupid things I did last night, ugg."

"Kara, look, I think he thought you were adorable and he was very flattered. He's not use to having girls act like that towards him or come on to him and he really liked you. He doesn't take girls to his apartment very often! Trust me, I got the low down from everyone at the BAU before we went out."

I picked up the nearest pillow and threw it at her, hitting her right in the head, "You stinker, I knew you had set me up!"

"You know you love me."

"Yes, yes I do. How else would I have met the 'infamous Dr. Reid'?"

"I don't know, but you owe me big time," she laughed, throwing the pillow back at me.

"Sure, dinner is on me today," I smiled, "now get out of my room so I can shower and get back to studying."

The rest of the week seemed to drag on, with studying and finals being one of my least favorite things to do, but it was an evil necessity. All I really wanted to do was stay home and watch 48 hours mystery, but I had my goals on my mind and if I wanted to make them happen, I had to drag myself to the last few days of class. I didn't hear anything from Spencer, of course, I didn't even remember exchanging numbers so I didn't get my hopes up of a later meeting. Still, butterflies erupted in my stomach whenever I thought back to spending that short amount of time with him. I worried that I made a fool of myself in getting way to drunk, yet he had done the same thing. I worried that I wouldn't get the chance to go on a real date with him and see what he was really like. I thought about asking my cousin to use her connections to get some contact information for him, but I didn't want to seem like an obsessive stalker. So I figured I'd just concentrate on school and see what happened.

On Thursday night, I was taking a break from studying for my latest class and making us sandwiches when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" I heard Jessie exclaim from the other room, no doubt expecting someone.

"Oh…well hello," I heard her say as I smashed the peanut butter and jelly sandwich onto my plate. Mushy and yummy.

"Is Kara home?" I heard a familiar voice respond. I paused, plate in hand, and listened.

"Yeah, she's in the kitchen."

"Thanks," the voice replied.

_No…_

I turned around to see who was coming through the door behind me, saw Spencer standing there with flowers in his hand, jumped out of my skin, and dropped my plate and glass container of jelly onto the floor.

"Oh shit!" I exclaimed, grabbing paper towels off the rack and beginning to clean the mess off the floor.

"I'm so sorry," Spencer said, "I've got to stop walking in the room unannounced." He placed the roses on the table and bent to help me pick up the pieces of the broken plate and mess off the floor.

"I know this sounds cliché, but really it's not you, it's me," I said, laughing to myself and raising my head up to look at him, meeting him nose to nose and taking in a sharp breathe.

We both paused, hands deep in the mess I had made, and I felt my mouth go dry. I could smell the coffee on his breathe, no liquor this time, and the faint scent of his cologne. I could feel him go still as well, but feel myself begin leaning into him when I heard Jessie walk into the room, "What happened?" she exclaimed.

Spencer and I both jerked back from each other and went back to cleaning up the mess. "Apparently Kara is easily scared when someone unexpected walks in the room. She loses control of her body and gets rather clumsy when she feels out of control in a situation."

Jessie and I both looked at Spencer, "Wow" we said in unison.

"He's good," Jessie said, leaving the room without helping us clean up our mess.

Spencer stood up, placing the mess in the trashcan, "I'm so sorry, Kara, I didn't mean to profile you or anything. Um, I think I'm still stuck on the job."

"No it's okay" I stated, embarrassed that he had been able to read me like a book. "Why don't we just get all that nasty mess out in the open," I said sarcastically.

He looked at me skeptically, unsure if I was serious or not.

"Look, why don't I show you to my room so we can get away from my crazy nosey cousin?"

"I heard that!" Jessie stated from the other room.

"See?" I said, taking Spencer's hand and leading him up to my bedroom. It was no big deal taking anyone into my room, really, not even a guy. It was more like my living quarters than my bedroom and it always had someone in it hanging out and studying. However, when Dr. Reid stepped in the room behind me, I suddenly felt inferior to him and hoped he didn't judge me for my somewhat childish décor. My room looked incredibly cluttered compared to his tidy, sparse apartment.

"Sorry about the mess," I apologized as I moved some things off the chair at the end of my bed so we could sit down.

"I see you've been studying," he stated.

"Yeah, trying to get some last minute studying in before my last final tomorrow."

"You know, last minute cramming is hardly the most effective way to pass an exam," he said, picking up the remote and turning off the television, "Especially with the television on."

I smiled, tucking my hands in my pockets, "Yeah, it helps me focus."

He nodded, unconvinced, tucking his hands in his pants as well.

"Why don't I get you something to drink?" I asked.

"Um sure, how about nonalcoholic this time?"

"Most definitely," I stated, turning to go make us some sweet tea. I went downstairs, made us both a glass of tea, while ignoring the commentary from my cousin. I also put the flowers he brought me in a vase and took them upstairs with me.

When I walked back into my bedroom, I saw Spencer was at my bookshelf, seemingly looking over the titles. "Thanks for the flowers, by the way, roses are my favorite." I stated, setting the vase on my desk.

"I wanted to do something nice for running off so abruptly to work the other day. It didn't seem like the best way after that conversation we were having…" he trailed off.

"It's sweet, Spence," I smiled, walking over to him to give him his tea. As I approached him, I noticed that he wasn't just looking at the books on my shelf, he had the second Fifty Shades of Grey book in his hand and the first one underneath it, indicating that he had already read through it.

"Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed, pulling the books from his hands and replacing it with the glass of sweet tea, "You probably shouldn't read that…you already read the first one didn't you…"

"Um, yes," he stammered, hands back in his pockets, "I read 20,000 words per minute and I keep hearing those books mentioned so I thought…wow those are, um, graphic."

"I am so embarrassed…I should have known better to leave you up here with my bookshelf," I laughed, sitting down on the side of my bed, trying to hide my bright red face.

I felt him sit down beside me on the side of the bed, "So, is that the kind of thing you are into?" He sat his glass of tea on the bedside table, clasping his hands together and looking at me questioningly.

Feeling my face deepen even more red I looked up at him, "Spence, I, um, look it's just a book. Please don't read into it too much."

Spencer raised his finger to my face, stroking my cheek ever so softly, "Did you know that blushing is caused by blood vessels widening, allowing more blood into the cheeks." His serious expression turned into a smile as he continued to explain, his smile causing his mouth to make this even more adorable smile as he continued to talk.

It was just all too much, Spencer in my room, on my bed, the book, blushing, _that _amazing smile, the heat rising in my face and this uneasy feeling in my stomach, butterflies erupting at the slightest touch of his hand. I closed the distance between us, putting my lips to his, my hand rising to run through his long hair. I could feel his other hand, unsure, shaky almost, coming up to the side of my head. I pulled back for a second, long enough to look into his eyes, taking note that his expression clearly said he was okay with this, and kissing him again before he began returning to his explanation of blushing. I felt my hands grasping at his button up shirt, pulling him to me. His hands kneading in my hair as we kissed, folding in my hair until he pulled me even closer to him, bringing a low moan from me.

Spencer pulled back, both of us breathing heavily, "Kara, I don't know if this is really the right time, should we-"

I couldn't really even concentrate on the words coming out of his mouth. All I could concentrate on were those lips of his, pink from kissing me. Unable to form a response, I returned to kissing him, showing him that I didn't care. My hands went to his tie, pulling it down and undoing it. It dropped to the floor and I began kissing my way down his neck.

"Kara, you need to study," I heard him mumble, almost incoherent this time. When I ignored the comment and began unbuttoning his shirt, his hands took mine, stopping them.

I pulled back, looking at him, "A genius once told me that I shouldn't cram the night before a test."

He smiled, "I don't know if he's a genius."

"Well, I don't either but I can tell you that he has an IQ of 187, 3 doctorates, and two bachelors. _And _he's studying philosophy now."

"I guess you're right, he sounds pretty smart."

"And pretty sexy," I added.

Now it was his turn to glance around nervously, but not quite blushing like I seemed to do whenever he complemented me, "Your door is open, this isn't quite appropriate. Your cousin is downstairs, I'm sure she is listening based on what you've said about her eavesdropping habits."

I laughed, standing up and shutting and locking my bedroom door, "Spence, if I didn't know better, I'd say you are trying to get out of something. You seemed pretty comfortable the other night."

"Alcohol lowers inhibitions-"

"So should that testosterone of yours," I said, slowly unbuttoning my own shirt, revealing the lacy camisole underneath. I dropped my shirt to the floor and let down my long blonde hair. Reaching for the button on my jeans, I raised my eyebrow at him. I could see his reaction from across the room, the tighter setting of his jaw, making a decision. Spencer ran both of his hands through his hair, stood up, and reached me in a few short strides. His hands went around my waist, forcing me back on the door. I took his head in my hands, pulling myself up on my tiptoes to meet his lips, feeling the sweat forming on his forehead. It made me smile in his kiss, happy that he was reacting like I was, just in a different manner. His kisses moved from my mouth, down my neck, and onto my right shoulder, his hand pulling my camisole and bra straps to the side.

"Oh, Spencer," I moaned, practically melting in his embrace, steadied only by his left arm wrapped around me, his body trapping me against the door. My hands moved to his shirt, finishing what they had started earlier, pulling his shirt down his arms, noticing the slight build of muscle there. This was surprising, considering how skinny he looks in his clothes at times. When I placed my hands under the bottom of his shirt and ran my hands over his stomach, it was the same. A slight build in muscle, just enough to make the difference between scrawny and downright sexy. I pulled his undershirt up over his head, moving my hands to the buttons of his corduroys.

Spencer placed both of his hands on mine, bringing them up to his shoulders, "Keep them here for balance," he stated, moving his lips back to mine and moving his hands up under my camisole. His hands moved up and down my body, finally settling on the buttons of my pants. He unbuttoned them quickly, but undid the zipper slowly. He pulled back for second, his eyes asking for the okay. I responded by returning to his kiss, keeping my hands on his shoulders where he had requested. He pulled my pants down my legs, slowly, torturing me in the process. I'm such an impatient person, and he seemed to know this. Flashbacks to our first night out, reminded me that we had done similar behaviors before and his eidetic memory, meaning that he can remember everything he saw or read, including my hot spots and exactly what to do to drive me crazy. _Not fair._ I had to steady myself on his shoulders when he bent down to help me step out of them. He kicked his shoes off in the process, and kissed his way back up the side of my thigh.

I shivered under his touch, losing my balance, and almost toppled to the floor. He stumbled backwards, only taking a few steps to reach the side of the bed. His knees connected with the bed, falling backwards and almost losing his grip on me. I urged him further onto the bed, climbing on top of it with him. Spencer continued to kiss me in an almost knowing way, with his hands running up and down my body, skimming my most sensitive places at times but not remaining there. When he did, a small moan escaped from me, but he didn't break his kiss. His hands continued to roam, mine going to the buttons of his corduroys once again, my patience growing thin. He reached his hand to stop me, but I pulled myself back from him, placing my feet off the bed and smiling down at him. I continued to undo his pants, without a word for him, his face searching for something to say.

"You don't have to say anything," I whispered, putting my finger on his lips and moving it down his chest to meet my other hand at his zipper. Not wasting time, I pulled both his corduroys and his boxers down in one swift movement, then making my way back up his leg while planting kisses every few inches on him.

He sat up on his elbows, "Kara, you don't have to-"

Not listening to him, I continued on with my exploration of Dr. Reid's anatomy. He laid back down on the bed, running both of his hands through his hair and moaning, "Kara, oh god."

When I was finished, I climbed up his long body and removed my camisole, leaving me in my matching red underwear.

"Wait," he said, as I went back in for another kiss. I pulled back, sitting up, "What?"

"We need to address, um, protection," he explained.

I smiled, removing myself from the bed and reaching into my purse. I retrieved the condom from my wallet and turned back to the bed, "Good thinking," I said, plopping down on the bed beside him. Spencer took the wrapper from my hands and pulled me underneath him, maneuvering us so we were laying the right way on the bed. He began kissing me again, moving those expert hands around on my body. He reached a hand behind my back, fumbling at my bra. I realized, this was barely farther than we had gotten earlier this week and his wonderful memory probably stopped at this point. I reached back, helping him unsnap my bra. He paused momentarily, eyes searching mine.

"It's okay," I smiled, removing the bra myself and going back to kissing him. We continued on this way, until he removed the rest of my clothes and decided to take a detour south.

"Spencer, you, oh my, that, that's wonderful," I whispered, surprised at the skill that he had in that area. He proceeded to continue on until I felt that stirring swell up in my stomach, my orgasm building until I burst, screaming out his name and pushing at him, determined to make him stop because it just felt too good. He put his hand over my mouth, motioning for me to be quite, I'm sure because of cousin downstairs. He pulled himself up over me at this point, with the condom already on.

"Are you ready?" he asked, looking down at me.

"Yes, are you crazy?" I asked, pulling his head down to me to kiss. It didn't take him long to begin making love to me. I felt like it had taken us forever to reach this point. It lasted long into the night, switching positions, getting caught up in one another, not sharing more than a few words at a time. Simply bliss, and everything I wanted for my first night with Dr. Reid.


	3. 3: What's Your Favorite Scary Movie

I woke up the next morning, with the biggest, goofiest look on my face I'm sure. I was wrapped up in blankets and Spencer, not sure where I ended and he began. I lifted my head up off his chest and glanced at the clock. _Crap! _I thought, not wanting to get up, but seeing that I had less than 45 minutes to get to my final. I slowly removed myself from the bed, not wanting to wake him up. I found myself limping over to my door, where my robe hung, legs sore from the night before. I glanced over at Spencer, sleeping like a baby. He rolled over onto his stomach and I could see where red marks were continuing to form on his back. _Oops. _

I pulled on my pink tank styled robe and stepped out of my room, pulling the door closed behind me. I walked into the upstairs bathroom, the one shared by my cousin and I, put my hair up into a ponytail to keep it from getting wet, and took a quick shower. After toweling off, I headed back towards my room. Jessie popped her head out of her bedroom about this time.

"Hey."

"Good morning," I replied, that goofy grin returning to my face.

"I see Dr. Reid's car is still outside and neither of you returned from the dungeon that is your room last night."

I shook my head at her, "Nope, you are absolutely right, and I'm not spilling the beans."

"You have to tell me everything! Absolutely everything!" she exclaimed behind me as I stepped back into my bedroom and shut the door behind me.

Spencer was sitting up in the bed, his hair a mess all over his head, and taking a sip of tea from the night before, "It's watered down," he said sadly.

I giggled and walked over to his side of the bed. "Yea it's been there a while," I said, ruffling his hair and swearing I felt my heart swell inside my chest.

"What time is it?"

"It's 8:30, almost time for my final and I've barely had any sleep," I stated, turning around and retrieving a blue jogging suit from the bureau.

"Oh no, I'm so late for work. I don't' know how I will ever get there in time," he replied, reaching for his pants on the side of the bed and slipping them and the boxers on. He searched in his pants pocket for his telephone, taking it out and looking at it. "Five missed calls. I'm sure they are wondering where I am."

"Looks like we may both be in trouble." I replied, throwing on the clothes I had picked up, grabbing my purse and backpack. I waited for Spencer to finish dressing and took his hand, "I'll make us some coffee and we can run like hell."

Spencer smiled and followed me down the stairs and into the kitchen. I used my handy dandy Keurig to quickly make us coffee. I noticed Spencer watching me curiously, as if he hadn't seen one before. I handed him his coffee, "It's kinda girlie, tastes like chocolate but it's amazing."

He took a sip, nodding in agreement, "It's delicious thank you."

I grabbed my coffee as well and grabbed his hand, dragging him behind me out the door, "I really hate to rush off but we both have places to go."

"It's okay, I guess it means we are even after me leaving for work the other day."

I nodded, stopping beside our cars, "Look Spencer, I had a wonderful time and I hope we can see each other again." I looked up into his deep brown eyes, biting my lip in anticipation of his answer.

" 'I'd like to bite that lip,' he said darkly," Spencer quoted from the Fifty Shades of Grey book he had read, cupping my face in his hand and running his finger over my lip.

I felt my cheeks burst into that familiar red flame, "Dr. Reid!" I exclaimed, "That's quite naughty." I lifted myself up on my tiptoes, kissing him softly on the lips. Pulling back, I smiled up at him, "I'd love to stay and get some of your commentary on what you read, but I really have to go."

Spencer nodded, "I hope your last final goes well. "

"Thanks, have fun exploring crazy people's minds," I replied, both of us walking to our separate cars. I glanced back at him before getting into my car, noticing him waiting for me to get in before sitting in his own car. I locked the doors and started the engine, taking in a few deep breaths to steady myself before driving off to school.

When I arrived on campus, I ran as quickly as I could to the building where my final was being held. Dr. Reid on my mind, I wasn't watching where I was going when I ran straight into who I presumed was another student. My bag fell to the floor.

"Oh crap, I'm so sorry," I stated, bending down to pick up my books, the stranger leaning down to help me get the things that fell out and putting them back in my bag.

"No problem," he replied, piercing blue eyes staring back into mine. "I hope you didn't lose anything."

We both stood up and I tucked the remainder of my things into my bag, "Thanks for helping me, I really appreciate it." I turned around to smile and he was gone.

_That's odd, _I thought, continuing my quick race to the final.

After taking my test, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. It was finally over. No more studying for me until September. However, on the walk back to my car, I had a sinking feeling that I was being watched. I stopped every few feet, nonchalantly looking around to see if there was someone I knew trying to catch up with me. Not noticing anyone, and thankful it was broad daylight, I quickly raced back to my car, jumping in and locking the doors. The paranoid in me checked the back seat and, noticing nothing out of the ordinary, and drove quickly back home.

When I got home, I let myself inside, fixing a quick lunch. It wasn't time for Jessie to be done with her last finals so I had the whole house to myself, and nothing to do. I let my mind drift to the night before, thoughts of Spencer swirling in my mind. I felt like I would have the touch of him stained on my skin forever. I felt kind of guilty for being part of the reason he was late to work, but not for the escapades we experienced the night before. I didn't know of the last time I had felt so fulfilled and so happy when spending time with another person. He had somehow lightened the mood of the night, causing my stress levels to go down, and the smiles on my face to increase. In fact, all day I had this stupid grin stuck on my face that I couldn't get off. What in the world had he done to me. I wasn't used to feelings like this after a night with a man. Maybe Jessie was right and I had been cut deep inside by my last serious relationship years ago. Maybe Spencer had done a little something to help repair it. Just maybe.

I decided to plop down on the couch with some chips and rent a scary movie, thankful to have finals over with and not have to work today.

Near the end of the movie, I heard my phone ding. Reaching over to it and opening up the text message, I saw a number that I didn't recognize.

_Hoping your finals went well and you are having an exquisite day. –Dr. Reid_

My heart skipped a beat when I read the signature at the end of the message. I quickly typed a reply.

_I'm pretty sure I aced them, Dr. Reid. Treating myself 2 a scary movie now, fun times._

I anxiously waited for his reply, wondering how he got my number. I didn't remember giving it to him. Minutes later, after getting no reply, I sent another message.

_How has your day been? Catch any psychologically deranged individuals today?_

His reply came quickly this time.

_Just arrived in California actually, getting involved with another case as we speak. I must apologize I can't give out any more information than that. –Dr. Reid_

Laughing to myself, I replied._ I didn't ask for specifics, I understand that kind of thing is confidential. No worries. Glad u made it safety. _

Once again, I waited for him to reply.

…

_So did you get in trouble for being late?_

He replied quickly again. _No. When I called to try to explain to Hotch, he told me not to worry and just get there in time to leave. Which I did. That was odd, he is usually not so understanding.-Dr. Reid_

"What in the world did you tell Agent Hotchner," I thought, imagining the blubbered sentences coming from Spencer, trying to explain why he was late to work this morning and his boss taking pity on him.

_Well that's good. _I replied.

Once again, he didn't answer. I really didn't want to seem desperate and be the only one asking questions. I continued to watch my movie for the next few minutes, eagerly awaiting his rely.

When I didn't get a reply in ten minutes, I sent another message.

_What's ur favorite scary movie?_

His reply was quick. _That's a quote from Scream, a 1996 horror movie. I take it you are a horror movie fan. –Dr. Reid._

He's good.

_A little bit. I am quite the fan of scary movies, real life mysteries, and romance novels._

Once again, no reply. What the heck. Was I saying something wrong? I went back through the text messages, trying to find a pattern. When I noticed what was going on, I couldn't help but laugh to myself. He was only answering when there was a proposed question.

_Dr. Reid, do you text often?_

A quick reply.

_Not often, why do you ask? –Dr. Reid_

_Because u can continue to message me even if I don't ask a question ;) it's just like talking really._

_Oh I see. It's kind of a new conceptualization for me. –Dr. Reid_

_I meant conceited. –Dr. Reid_

_CONCEPT. -Dr. Reid_

_LOL gotta love autocorrect._

_What? –Dr. Reid_

_Autocorrect, it automatically tries 2 guess what u r going 2 type_

_Ahh. What's a LOL? –Dr. Reid_

_And again I say LOL. It means "laugh out loud"_

_Oh. –Dr . Reid_

_I'm just playing ;)_

_So I had a good time last night. –Dr. Reid_

_Me 2, Spencer. And not just the physical part, but talking beforehand? I know there wasn't a lot but maybe we could meet up and get to know one another better? A date maybe?_

_Date? –Dr. Reid_

_Yes…but only if u want to._

_Of course! I just assumed I should be the one to ask you out. –Dr. Reid_

_I can b a little forward. Let's pretend I didn't say that and u can go for it._

_Go for what? –Dr. Reid_

…_Asking me out LOL_

_Oh! –Dr. Reid_

_LOL –Dr. Reid_

_There ya go, perfect usage of your new word._

_Kara, would you, um. Would you want to go get some food? Saturday night? With me?–Dr. Reid_

I giggled to myself, excited that he was on the same page as I was. This would give me a chance to talk to him about these crazy butterflies in my stomach.

_Yes! That would be great! See you at 7?_

_Sounds great! –Dr. Reid_

So that was it! I had my very first official date with Spencer and I couldn't have been more excited except for the awful flips my stomach was doing.

Around six o clock Saturday night, I was hoping out of the shower when I heard my phone ring. I raced to pick it up, noticing Spencer's name flashing across the front of my phone.

"Hey!"

"Hello, Kara, it's Spencer."

I laughed slightly, lying back on my bed, phone in hand, "Really? I had no idea."

He paused for a minute, leaving me unsure if he knew I was joking, "Yes."

"I'm kidding."

I heard him laugh and continue on, "Listen, I hate to do this but, um, I have to cancel our date tonight."

My heart dropped, "Well that sucks…"

"I know, and I sincerely apologize. We are still stuck in California. I expected to fly out today but they needed me to stay and help so I'm kind of stuck."

"That's okay, I understand. Maybe another time?"

"Yes, definitely. I will get in contact with you as soon as I am back in town okay?" he asked

"It's a date," I said, trying to put a smile into the words.

"Okay, bye," he stated, hanging up.

I sat my phone down on the bed, pouting to myself. Well crap. Guess I was going to go grocery shopping after all tonight. I quickly got dressed and went downstairs. My cousin was on the couch watching her soap opera.

"Hey Jessie, Spencer had to cancel for tonight. Want to go get groceries with me?"

"Sure," she replied, turning off the television and following me outside. We hoped into her car, heading to the grocery store.

"So what happened?" she asked, pulling out onto the main road.

"He's not back from his case yet," I replied.

"That sucks."

"Yea but that's one of the perks of dating someone in the FBI," I stated, sarcastically.

A car pulled out of a driveway down the road, flashing his bright lights behind us.

"Good grief, what a jerk," Jessie stated, adjusted her rear view mirror.

The black car continued to follow us the whole way to the grocery store, pulling in behind us and parking a few spaces down from us.

"They pulled in behind us," I observed out loud, pointing down the row of cars.

"I'm sure they are just getting groceries, Kara," Jessie laughed, getting out of the car, "You watch way too many real life mysteries. You gotta cool it."

"Maybe," I agreed, following her into the store and not giving another thought to the car and its bright lights.


	4. 4: U Make It So Hard To Think Rationally

Spencer text me the following Monday, stating that he was back in town and hoping to get together with me that night. Unfortunately, he ended up flying out for another case, leaving me to continue to worry about his feelings for me. I was missing him, wanting to get to know him better because I enjoyed the feeling I had when he was in the room. Like there was nothing wrong in the world at that moment until he left and reality set back in. _Calm down Kara, _I encouraged myself, knowing that we had only known each other for a short time and that the rational Dr. Reid couldn't have been experiencing these crazy feelings I was. Still, it was worth it to check in and see what his thoughts were. When he text me on Wednesday that he was back in town, I was not about to let him leave town again before I got to ask him my questions. I decided to make a special trip to the BAU for lunch that day.

I stepped into the Behavior Analysis Unit of the FBI with the help of Michael, I smoothed down my ruffled cream colored top and pushing down the edges of my knee length straight black skirt. I followed him through to the main office, pausing to retrieve my license when he asked. When I reached into my wallet, however, my license wasn't there. "That's odd."

Michael leaned over my shoulder, "What's wrong?"

"I can't find my driver's license…but it's always right here," I stated, pointing at the empty pocket in my wallet.

"Maybe you misplaced it after going out the other night."

"I highly doubt it, I'm pretty anal about that kind of thing," I said, frantically continuing to search for it.

"Hey, Kara, it's no biggie. If anyone has any questions, they can talk to me," he explained, taking a visitor's sticker and placing it in my hand. I nodded, still concerned about what I did with my license, and placed the sticker on my chest. I followed Michael into the BAU, taking in my surroundings. There were several cubicles in the middle of the large room, with offices on all sides and on the upper level. I felt the excitement build inside me since I was in the building for the first time dreaming of it for the past few years. Michael escorted me over to the cubicles, introducing me to people along the way.

"When you are ready to leave, just find me," he smiled, leaving me just a few feet away from Spencer's desk.

I nodded, thanking Michael, and slipped up behind Dr. Reid. "Hi," I said, leaning forward and whispering the word in his ear.

Spencer jumped slightly, turning around in his chair to look at me questioningly, "Hey, Kara. Is everything okay?"

"Yea, things are fine. I was just hoping we could talk. I've been thinking a lot about that night and this feeling in my stomach and-"

Spencer's eyes widened at my words and looked around to see if anyone else was paying attention, "Kara, I hardly think this is the appropriate place to talk about this sort of thing."

"Well, is there any place quiet we could talk?"

"Sure," he said, standing up and motioning for me to follow him into a nearby office. I followed him into the office, watching him pull the door behind him and then shut the blinds. "He's on vacation this week," he stated, nodding to the desk in the center of the room. He turned back to me, seeming to really notice me for the first time, taking me in from the bottom of my nude heels, up my body, finally settling on my eyes, "You look nice."

"Yes, Spencer, I couldn't possibly walk into the BAU and leave a bad impression could I?" I asked, raising my eyebrow in question.

He shrugged his shoulders, tucking his hands into the pockets of his pants, "So, what did you need to talk about."

"Well," I began, nervously looking around the room, "I just-"

"You mentioned your stomach, you aren't sick are you? Or-or pregnant?"

"Do what!?" I laughed, "No, no Spencer, no. I just, um." It was hard to get the words out, explain that I was having a crazy reaction to being around him, worrying that saying the wrong thing would scare him off.

Spencer looked at me, eyebrows furrowed, reading me.

"Will you stop that?"

"Stop what?" he asked.

"Looking at me like you are trying to figure me out. If we are going to be dating, you can't be profiling me."

He opened his mouth a couple of times, searching for the right words, "I wasn't doing that, I promise. I'm just trying to understand what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong Spencer, I just don't want to say the wrong thing and mess this up," I explained, stepping towards him and placing my hands on his arms.

Spencer stepped back, putting some distance between us, "Kara, this is hardly the place to be talking about sexual things."

My mouth hung open in shock, "That's not why I'm here."

Spencer pursed his lips, and walked over to the window on the far side of the office, "Okay. Then what is it."

I followed in his footsteps over to where a couch sat under the window, leaving some space between us, "I wanted to talk about us…"

"And you decided to come to the office? Can't we talk about this when I get off?"

"But you…you keep having to leave. And I understand that but this, this is kind of important…"I trailed off, wondering if it was the right thing to come here.

Spencer ran both of his hands through his hair and looked at me with furrowed eyebrows, "I just don't understand-"

I lost my patience, "Look, forget it. We can talk about it later."

I turned around to leave, but when I placed my hand on the door, I felt his hand on my shoulder, "Wait, Kara. Please just tell me what it is."

I turned around, ready to spill my guts, but I found myself only inches away from him._ Good grief, _I thought, my mind focusing on those full lips of his. I took a couple of steps back from him, bumping into the door. Dirty thoughts racing through my mind at the most inopportune time, like a coping mechanism trying to pull me away from the real reason why I was there to something of a more primal need.

He placed his hands out on my waist, quickly, to steady me, "Please be careful, you can't be banging into everything. Everyone is going to wonder what is going on in here." He reached around behind me and locked the door. The scent of him whiffing past me as he pulled back, his right hand still on my waist.

I closed the distance between us, reaching up to place my lips on his, running my hands through his hair as he had done earlier. _This is so much easier than talking, _I thought, pouring every ounce of emotion into that kiss.

I felt him pull back, placing his hands on my arms and pulling them down to my side, "This is where I work," he said nervously, as if that proved some kind of point.

"Yes I know, I'm just trying to show you-"

"It's not appropriate, Kara," he insisted, taking a few steps back and running into the leather couch behind him. He looked back at the couch angrily and returned his gaze back to me.

"Oh, really?" I asked innocently, stepping forward and running my finger down his tie, continuing down his shirt, over his belt, and down the front of his pants. I bit my lip and raised my eyes to meet his, "Dr. Reid, I hear you saying that this isn't something you are wanting to do at this moment but your body appears to be telling me otherwise."

Spencer raised his eyebrows, "Are you using your psychological skills on me, Miss Winchester?"

"I don't know what you are talking about," I smiled, undoing the buckle on his pants.

His hands grabbed mine quickly, stopping me from going any farther, "Kara, behave," he warned, looking deep into my eyes.

"Spencer, in the short time you have known me, when have you known me to behave?" I asked, rising up on my toes to kiss him once again. Spencer lowered his face to mine, kissing me deeply, and pulling me to him in response. I felt him pull my shirt out of my skirt and running his hands on my bare skin. Moaning into his kiss, I pushing him down onto the leather couch, climbing on top of him in the process. We continued to kiss, his hands tight on my waist, moving up and down my body, caressing me in that way only he knew how to do. I kept my hands in that glorious hair of his, pausing only occasionally to move my own hair out of my face.

"Kara," Spencer whispered, a slight warning continuing to be present in his voice, although he continued to touch me, to plant kisses on my lips, "you make it so hard to think rationally."

I smiled, widely at him, "Same goes for you, Dr. Reid."

"Call me Spencer, please," he whispered, placing his mouth on my neck and trailing kisses down and into the cleavage of my shirt.

"Oh, Spencer," I groaned, putting my hands back on the buckle of his belt.

He stopped suddenly, pulling back from our embrace and taking several deep breathes, "Okay, really this can't happen. I'm sorry. I want this, I do. I just, I can't Kara, you have to understand." He moved one of my legs over to the side, pulling himself out from under me.

Laying forward on the couch and placing my head on the back of the couch, I gave up, "Okay, Spencer, I surrender."

He reached over, lifting my face to look at him, "Hey, I'm not upset I promise. Can we talk? Later? Maybe um, you could come to my place or um I could come to your and we could, uh, talk about whatever is on your mind."

"That would be great," I smiled.

I didn't have to worry about finding Michael to walk me back to my car when we were finished. Spencer wouldn't leave my side as he walked me through the hallways of the BAU and out to my car, his hand occasionally brushing mine but not taking it. I knew he didn't want to arouse suspicion of what went on in the office or be unprofessional to his coworkers. As much as I wanted to pull myself to him on the way out, I held myself back, keeping a few steps behind him so I didn't tempt myself. Really, I could follow that backside around the BAU all day long, I decided. We stopped at my car, him finally taking my hand. He raised it to his lips, planting a chaste kiss on it.

"Spencer, you are enough to drive a woman insane."

He furrowed his eyes in confusion, as if he didn't understand how attractive he was. Gosh, even that expression melted me heart. "I don' t understand…" he began, trailing off and searching my eyes as if looking for an answer.

"Understand what?" I asked.

He shook his head, as if convincing himself to drop the subject, "Nothing, we can talk about it tonight."

"Sure, no problem." I replied

He pulled me into his arms, hugging me tightly.

I stepped back, smiling at him and stepped towards my car, "Hey, do you know anyone who owns a black car?"

"No, why?"

"Nothing, I'm sure it's nothing," I said smiling, "I'll see you later ok?"

Spencer nodded, shutting the door of my car and waving at me as I pulled off, leaving him looking like a confused puppy on the sidewalk outside of the FBI building.

On my way home, I took a detour to Starbucks to grab some coffee to spoil myself and try to stay up for the remainder of the day. I was so very tired after getting barely any sleep the night before and needed a little caffeine to keep me up. As I pulled out of the parking lot, a black car pulled out behind me, driving closely to my bumper and following me down the road. I continued on to my home, noticing this car taking all of the same turns as me. I felt worry build up in my stomach, making me somewhat nauseous, and took a different way home. Still, the car followed me. _You've been watching too many episodes of 48 hours mystery, you need to take a chill pill,_ I whispered to myself. I pulled in my driveway, expecting the black car to pull in behind me. However, the black car continued to go down the road. I let it get far into the distance before I grabbed my things and ran inside.

I took another quick shower, taking some time to think, and putting on my shorts and a sweater. I curled up in my bed, grabbing the latest mystery book I was reading. After just a few minutes, I felt my body begin shutting down. I was exhausted. Looking over at the clock, I saw that I had a couple of more hours before Jessie would be home and not soon after, hopefully, Spencer would be visiting. I put my book down, cuddling up to my pillow and letting sleep take me over.

I awoke to a loud bang, sitting straight up in my bed and looking around. Not seeing anything out of the ordinary, I went to the top of the stairs to see if someone was home. The front door was wide open, which made me think that Jessie had come home early with groceries, and forgetting to close it behind her.

"That's weird," I whispered to myself, stepping back inside the house and closing the door. I stood on my tiptoes, stretching my arms in the air. I turned towards the living room, determined not to go back to sleep, and noticed a dark figure reflecting in the television. I threw my hands over my mouth, backing up into the hallway. Someone was in the house. Debating my options, I settled for sneaking up to my phone so I could retrieve my phone and call for help. I could always crawl out my window and down the tree if I needed to. I backed myself slowly and quietly up the stairs, hoping the intruder would think I didn't see him and would get what he needed and leave. I locked my bedroom door behind me and grabbed my phone, quickly pulling up Spencer's number and dialing it.

"Spencer here," he responded, "Kara, I really-"

"Listen, Spencer, there's someone in my house," I whispered, cowering on the far side of my bed.

"What?" he exclaimed, "Where are you?"

"I'm in my bedroom. I came home and took a nap and when I got up the door was open and I saw him in the other room. And oh gosh, Spencer, my license is missing and there was this black car that followed me almost all the way home today. I'm so scared, I didn't know who else to call."

I could hear the fear in his voice, "Kara, please, just stay calm. I'm coming now. Can you get out of your room? Did you get a good look at him?"

"No, no, I-I don't know," I stammered, startled when I heard the door of my room slam open. "Shit," I whispered into the receiver.

"Kara, what is it?"

I felt the skin on the back of my neck crawl before I actually saw him coming around the side of my bed. He lunged at me, grabbing me and putting his hand over my mouth before I could scream.

I dropped my phone to the floor, hands going up to fight with him in a desperate way to get away from him. I kicked at him as he pulled me up off the floor, scratching and biting at his hands the best I could. Trying to use the skills I leaned in my self-defense class, but I couldn't get positioned in a way to throw him off me.

"Stop it!" he growled in anger, pulled back his fist, and hit me hard enough to knock me out.


	5. 5: The Prophet

I awoke with the taste of blood in my mouth, my head throbbing from the punch. I tried to raise my hand to wipe my mouth, but felt that my hands were held together with handcuffs. I jerked at them in the dark, trying to break free. Taking note of having no other restraints, I tried to calm down and focus my eyes in the dark. I was too scared to stand up, afraid of what could be around me, of who could be in the room with me. I sat there in the dark for what felt like forever until my eyes somewhat adjusted. I could make the outline of what appeared to be a bed nearby, and maybe a dresser. Not much help. Cold, damp, scary. I felt my shorts, searching for my phone, not finding it anywhere. _I must have dropped it at the house, _I thought, remembering it hit the floor with a thud. No way it'd be traceable in a million pieces. My eyes searched the room for some source of light, maybe a window I could uncover. Nothing to be seen. I wracked my brain, trying to think of what in the world was going on and who in the world would want to kidnap me. Was it because of my parents? A ransom requested to get a large sum of money? That's all I could think of, sitting in the dark, the only source of sound being the fast beating of my heart and the racing of my pulse.

I tried to form a plan, but nothing came to me since I couldn't even see my surroundings. Scenes from all the scary shows and movies I watched flooding my mind, sending chills down my spine. _Shit, this is not good…._

I held my breath for a minute, listening to my surroundings. It sounded like a television going in the other room. Upstairs maybe. The floor creaking above my head made me aware of someone else in the place where I was being held. The footsteps continued overhead, sounding like two sets, when they stopped close by, opening a door across the room, sending light into the room where I was sitting. The light showed that I was right, there was a bed and a dresser in the room where I was. It looked like a makeshift bedroom, the dark stone walls and floor giving away its true nature: a basement. I saw a rat scurry across the room and hiding under the dresser, cringing at the site. There was no telling what else was in the basement with me.

The figure came down the stairs from the door way, with something in hand. I felt myself try to back up closer to the wall, but there being no more space there to move. The figure reached the bottom of the steps, into full view of me. His short blonde hair and attractive face looked vaguely familiar but I was unable to place him.

"I brought you something to eat," he stated, placing a tray down in front of me. The mushy substance on the tray didn't look appetizing at all and I was not about to eat something from the guy who kidnapped me. I scowled at him, furrowing my eyebrows.

"You will eat!" he exclaimed, stomping his foot onto the tray, sending the contents flying in different directions. It smelled awful.

"Who are you? What do you want with me?" I whispered, meeting his cold blue eyes.

He reached down, grabbing me by the handcuffs, and lifting me to my feet, scrapping the cuffs across my wrists in the process, "I am your master now. I will be until you tell me where he is."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I insisted, trying to remain calm while he stared straight back at me, anger flaring his eyes.

"Yes you do!" he roared, shoving me back against the wall, my back hitting it with a thud. I stiffened a cry, trying not to give him the advantage over me. "The prophet, he spews words out of his mouth like a fountain. He finds us. He finds us all."

"I am telling you, I don't know who you are talking about. My name is Kara, I'm a college student, please listen to me," I stated, trying to get him to identify me as a human, not some possession of his.

"I know who you are, I'm not stupid! Do you think I would have taken the time to follow you around, learn your every move, if I wasn't certain you were one with the prophet!?"

I held his gaze the best I could with him slamming me against the wall with every sentence he said, trying not to cry out in pain, "I. Don't. Know. What. You. Are. Talking. About." I repeated.

He screamed in rage, giving me one final push and stomping back to the bottom of the stairs. He ran his hand through over his head and paced back and forth in the room, "So I have a strong one here huh? Well if you won't tell me about him, I will have to get it out of you some other way." He gave me one last look and went back upstairs, slamming the door behind him and leaving me alone in the darkness again.

I let out a long breath I didn't realize I had been holding and sank down to the floor, trembling, pulling my legs close to me. I let the tears come, streaming down my face, wondering what this crazy man was talking about.

_He keeps rambling about a prophet, calling me his slave, ordering me to eat. I'm definitely in a basement with no windows. There's gotta be a light in here somewhere. _

I pushed myself to my feet, now knowing that there wasn't anything to be scared of in this room, except the rats, and the fact that if I didn't get out, I wouldn't survive long. I climbed up the stairs on my hands and knees in the dark, the cold blocks sending chills through my body. When I reached the top, I felt around the door, my fingers running over the light switch I was tempted to flick on the lights when I heard a woman yelling. I pressed my ears to the door, trying to hear what was happening on the other side.

"Phillip! What did you do to that girl!?" I heard the woman shriek.

"She pissed me off, Sandy, I couldn't help myself. She wouldn't eat your food and she claims not to know the prophet."

"Well she's not going to tell you anything with you acting like you are! I told you to be calm with her or she would not talk. She belongs to the prophet and I'm sure he's given her strict instructions not to talk if captured. I guess I will have to talk to her myself."

I heard her nearing the door and hurried back down the stairs, trying to make it back to the far wall before she opened the door.

I stood there, waiting to see who would be greeting me next.

A young woman, long boring brown hair hanging down to her waist, came down the stairs, dressed in regular clothing, simple but yet attractive like the man was. Neither of them could be a whole lot older than me, maybe ten years? Still, the man was very tall and quite built, worrying me that I wouldn't be able to get out of here.

The woman walked over to me, "Hello," she said, cocking her head to the side and looking at me.

I nodded at her, not saying anything.

"What's wrong honey? Was Phillip not being kind to you? You are a guest in our home."

"That's not the impression I got," I stated, meeting her dark brown eyes.

"Well, he can get excited sometimes. You offended him when you wouldn't eat our food. He wants you to survive this honey, we both do. We just need to know what the prophet knows and how to get to him."

"I will tell you like I told your man, I don't know any prophet."

The woman shook her head, reaching up to caress the side of my face, "So beautiful to have such lies coming out of her mouth," she whispered to herself, followed by a hard slap across my face.

I felt my anger welling up inside of me, and took a few deep breathes to steady myself. I couldn't let these people get to me or I'd get myself in trouble. I raised my gaze to look at her, "Is that all you've got?"

"I'm not here to fight with you, honey," the woman stated, bending over to pick up the dinner plate and mess off the floor. "I just need to know about the prophet, that's all. Once you give us the details and help us retrieve him so he can't catch us anymore, you will be free to go."

"Trust me lady, if I knew who this prophet was of yours, I'd tell ya so I could leave this awful place."

"Lying again, tsk, tsk," she stated, taking the fork and stabbing it into my left calf.

"Ugg" I cried out in pain, bringing my right leg up into her chin and sending her backwards onto the floor, "You bitch!"

A witchy cackle escaped from the woman as she pulled herself to her feet, seemingly unfazed "You better hope you behave yourself or you won't have the pleasure of seeing the prophet being executed."

She turned on her heels, going back up the stairs and leaving me to examine the wound on my left leg. There were three clear puncture marks from the fork, three lines of blood trickling down my leg. I didn't know how I was going to survive this, but if I was going to, I needed to keep my temper under control.

For the next few hours in the dark, I had my shirt pulled down and applied to the wound, trying to get the bleeding to stop, feeling myself getting thirsty over the time that passed. Wondering, how long I had been there and trying to figure out what the crap these people were talking about. They had both mentioned a prophet, "catching" someone, thinking I knew them. I had no clue what they were talking about. I remembered the man stating that he had been following me and I remembered where I had seen him before. He was the guy I ran into on the last day of finals, which also explained why my license was missing. He had to have picked it up off the ground when I wasn't looking. Then he knew where I lived and was free to watch me all he wanted. I wondered…if he drove the black car that kept following me around.

The black car…Jessie. _She's got to be crazy with worry right now. I'm sure she's called mom and dad and everyone else we've ever met looking for me. _And…Spencer. It hit me now that I had called him when I saw the man in my home, trying in a desperate plea to get help, knowing that if anyone could get me out of this crap it was him. I had after all, I had asked him about the black car. Surely he would put them together, as I had. I laid my head back on the blocks, tears welling up in my eyes, worrying that I would never get to tell him how much he was meaning to me, never get to tell him that something had clicked with me and him and it had meant so much in such a fast time. Last I saw him, things hadn't gone ideally as planned and he seemed so confused. I wondered what he was doing right now, closing my eyes, trying to imagine his deep brown eyes, his long brown hair, his hand reaching up to brush my cheek ever so slightly.

The door to the basement slammed open, causing me to jump up, losing my train of thought. I saw the man coming down the stairs, the woman trailing behind him, whispering to herself, arguing almost.

"Stand up," the man ordered, stopping a few feet away from me.

I stood up slowly, trying to be as less imposing as I could be, "Listen, I really don't know who this prophet is that you are speaking of. You said you don't want to hurt me but, I'm thirsty and I'm hurt. Please, let me go."

The man reached out, grabbing me by the chin, squeezing it as hard as he could. I closed my eyes, trying to make the pain go away.

"You hurt my wife," he stated, as if that explained everything.

"I-I'm sorry. Please, just let me go and I will help you find him. I will…"

The man let me go, grabbing ahold of my handcuffs and dragging me behind him over to the bed, "You need to sleep."

"If you think I'm sleeping in this dreadful place, you've got another thing coming," I argued, pulling backwards from him to the best of my ability. I did not want to do as he asked. I did not want to get near that bed with him. Still, he insisted that I sleep, it must be night time.

The man, Phillip, jerked my handcuffs, pulling me to him. I fought against him for a few minutes, determined not to let him have any easy time ordering me around. He slapped me hard across the face, taking me off guard. I lost my balance, falling backwards onto the edge of the bed. He grabbed my hands, hooking them to another set of handcuffs dangling from the headboard.

"You will sleep," he insisted, pulling a syringe out of his pocket.

I struggled against my restraints, unsure of what was in the needle. Not wanting to know what it was and seeing no way to escape from it. He jammed the needle into my arm, pushing the liquid into me. I felt a burning sensation taking over my arm, radiating up into my brain, calming my racing heart. Feeling my body relax without trying, I laid back onto the bed. I tried to fight the sleepy feeling coming over me, but my eyes kept closing, sleep enticing me ever so quickly.

The man stepped back, putting his arm around his wife, "Think long and hard about telling us the whereabouts of the prophet. You can't keep it from us forever." I tried to open my mouth, to tell him no. Insisting again that I didn't know what he was talking about. But the sleep overtook me, the calm taking me over, fogging my brain until I passed out.

_Young, stupid, 18 year old me sat alone in the bathroom. Sitting in the floor, my back against the door, the door locked. Hoping, praying that my boyfriend would leave. I heard him banging on the door, threatening to do horrible things to me if I didn't open it. The throbbing in the back of my head reminding me that he could follow through with those threats, just as he had hit me with that book when I told him I didn't want to go with him to his friend's poker night. I put my face in my palms, determined to win this fight. Determined not to let him get the best of me again. We'd moved in together, right after high school, naively thinking that we would be together forever. He was handsome, coming from a wealthy family that ran in same circle as parents. Being with him was what they'd all wanted to see from the beginning, but in the end they wouldn't believe the monster he'd become. I'd started college when the jealousy began. Jealousy that I was cheating on him, insisting that I wasn't where I said I was, yelling when I wasn't home when I said I would be, calling me awful names when I tried to insist that I was being faithful. I'd dismissed it the first time he hit me, convinced that I'd done something awful for him to have done so. But as it happened more and more times, a hardness began building up in me, cutting off my feeling for him and bringing me to this point. Hiding in the bathroom, determined not to be the victim again but being unsure of what to do. This had gone on too long. I stood up, walking to the other side of the bathroom, getting away from the door and calling the only person in the world who would believe me, my cousin Jessie. Just as she answered the phone, my boyfriend knocked the door down, stomping inside angrily, "Who do you think you are calling?"_

My own loud screams woke me up from my dream, thrusting me back into the real world. I was thankful that I wasn't back in that bathroom, a pathetic heap of cowardliness, but not so happy to realize I was still locked up in the basement of Mr. and Mrs. Crazy. I remembered having several nightmares throughout the time I was asleep, flashbacks to a more depressing time in my life, and nightmares about what could happen while I was stuck here in this awful place. I stretched my limbs, trying to wake myself up all the way, pain shooting through my leg and my back when I did so. _Uggg. _I sat up, and looked around the room. There was a candle sitting on the floor beside the bed with a tray sitting beside it. The food on the tray looked just as mushy and disgusting as before. _Gross._ Still, this meant one of them was in the room with me while I was asleep. That didn't sit well with me but there wasn't anything I could have done to stay awake after that guy had injected me with whatever that was. That freaked me out. So bad. Who knows what was in that syringe, or how unsanitary the needle itself was. I rotated myself to the side, enjoying the small amount of light the candle gave to the room.

How was I going to get out of this place.

I heard the door creak open before I saw the light. This time, one of them clicked on the light of the basement, flooding my eyes with bright lights in an uncomfortable way.

"I see you still haven't eaten anything. You are a picky eater." the man said, reaching the bottom of the steps, his wife following behind him. She had another tray in her hand. Lunch I guess.

What I really wanted was some water but I wasn't about to tell him that. Judging by the routine these people seemed to have, it was nearing 24 hours since I had been kidnapped. 24 hours, without food, water, or rescuing. No wonder I was feeling so weak.

The woman threw the tray in her hand across the room, hitting the wall with a splat, "That's it! I'm sick of your noncompliance. We are going to call the prophet himself! When he knows we have you, he will come."

The woman reached into her pocket, pulling out a familiar looking cellphone. _My phone! _I screamed on the inside. I watched her scroll through my contacts, settling on one and pressing the button, also turning the phone on speaker.

A few rings later, an answer, "Kara? Are you okay?" I heard him ask, sending chills down my spine. _Spencer. _

The woman laughed into the receiver, "Prophet, so you do answer. Your little whore was swearing up and down she didn't know who you were."

"Is she there now? With you?" he asked. I could hear the worry in his voice.

"Yes, and we need you to come on your journey to rescue her. Turn yourself in or she won't make out of this in one piece," she stated, nodding at the man.

The man turned to me, no doubt ready to show Spencer that he wasn't joking. I saw him undoing his belt, whipping it off in one solid motion. I could hear Spencer continuing to talk with the woman, but I was unable to concentrate on what he was saying with the monster walking towards me, belt in hand. He pulled it back, slapping my already injured leg with it three times as hard as he could. I cried out in pain, pulling my legs up to myself.

I heard Spencer shout my name, when the man hit me again, this time across the arm. I took the opportunity to let out all the pain I had been feeling in my desperate screams so Spencer would understand it was bad here where I was. I also took the chance to try to warn him.

"Spencer! I'm in a basement, it's a trap! Be careful, I-" I exclaimed before the man put his hand over my mouth, covering my screams.

"Don't be stupid," the man whispered. I nodded my head quickly, however, he did not remove his hand.

I heard Spencer's calming voice, speaking directly to me, encouraging me to be strong, to do what they ask until he could get to me. I heard him make plans with the woman to come here to where I was. Alone. With no weapons. And I couldn't warn him of their plans to hurt him, to "execute" him as they had put it, or even say goodbye as the woman hung up the phone, due to the man's nasty hand over my mouth.

Once she hung up, the man let go of my mouth and stepped away from me.

The woman cackled that witchy laugh again, "So he comes. "I should cut out your tongue for your lies, whore."

"Please don't, he's coming. You said you wouldn't hurt me."

She took the man's hand, "You are right. And once he comes, you will witness the ending of the prophet and the beginning of a new era, with us in charge of the whole human race." I watched as the two began laughing together, hugging, kissing, and going back upstairs to leave me in the basement once again. They turned the light off, leaving me with only the candle to keep me company. As I sat in the dark, parched for thirst, I wondered if either of us would make it through this alive.

Hours later, the man returned, bringing a tray of food with him. He sat it down at the foot of the bed and sat down beside it. "It's almost time," he stated, looking up at me with a crazed grin on his face.

I glared at him at him, hoping to bust his bubble. I didn't. He continued to stare out me, that smile on his face.

"I'm not impressed," I stated.

"You will be." He stood up off the bed, moving over to where I was. He reached up to my handcuffs, undoing both sets and letting my hands free. I rubbed at my wrists, trying to numb the pain a little, noticing the blood that had trickled down my arms. _I must look like a train wreck. _

"Don't pull any funny business or your fate will be worse than handcuffs," he stated, walking over to the stairs. He turned to me, "Come on."

I pulled myself off the bed, doing as he asked. I didn't want to follow him up those stairs. I didn't want to see what waited for me at the top. But Spencer had said to do as they asked and he knew what he was doing. He was the professional in this situation and, him knowing me, he knew that I was probably putting myself in danger by fighting these two. Which I had been. I limped up the stairs, pain shooting through my body. I put up my hand to shield my eyes from the light that hit me when I reached the top of the stairs. I looked around me, seeing an ordinary living room. The man led me over to the couch on the far side of the room. I sat down on it, taking in my surroundings. The couches were old, probably from the late fifties judging by their flowery design. There were two couches facing each other, one sitting directly in front of the window and the other being the one I was sitting on. A brown coffee table sat in between them. The dark burgundy curtains on the windows were drawn closed so that no light was being let in. Still, the lights were turned on and I felt a lot more comfortable that I had been minutes before. The woman walked into the room, a plate of cookies in her left hand and a bottle of milk in the other. My stomach growled as she sat them on the table in front of me. I had to fight myself to keep from reaching out and helping myself. It'd been so long since I'd ate. _And I'm so thirsty. _

Dragging my eyes off the cookies, I looked down at my body. Bruises had formed on my wrists and blood had dried where the handcuffs had been too tight and had dragged across the skin. Three bloody holes stood out on my stark white leg, bruising the majority of my calf. Other bruises scattered on my arms and legs from the belt and other slaps that they had administered on me. However, as the woman sat across from me, I could see her chin was bruised. That was my one win in this. _Hah. _

We sat there in silence, both of them looking at me with the same deranged smile on their faces. I simply glared back at them, my eyebrows furrowed, showing them I was not a happy camper. I heard a knock on the door and the two turned those smiles to each other.

"He's here," the man whispered, getting up off the couch and going to the door. He opened the door, smile turning into a frown, "I told you to come by yourself."

"They wouldn't let me," I heard Spencer explain, "they were listening in on our conversation. If you will let me come in, I will talk to you alone."

The man stepped back, making way for Spencer to enter, and slamming the door behind him. He was clad in his usual choice in clothing, blue FBI protection vest pulled on over the top of it. His worried eyes taking in the living room until they settled on me. He tried to keep his expression from changing too much, but I saw the tension ease in his shoulders at the sight of me alive. He started walking over to me, concern crossing through his eyes when he got close enough to see my injuries.

"Stop," the man ordered, making Spencer freeze at the word.

He put his hands up in the air slowly, "Okay. We can do this however you need to."

The woman stood up from her seat in front of me and turned to the two men, "Prophet," she stated, addressing Spencer with that awkward cocking of the head, "How nice of you to join us." She walked around behind the couch where I sat and placed her hands on my shoulders, "I knew you'd come for her."

I felt my face scrunch in disgust, eyeing her over my shoulder and trying to move myself out from under her grasp.

"Kara," I heard Spencer state, a warning coming from him. I looked up at him, his hands still in the air, that creep coming up to stand beside him. I could see it in his eyes, that look telling me to stop and "behave".

I took a few deep breathes and nodded, biting my lip and wishing this was over. I saw the man gesture to the couch where his wife previously sat.

"Thank you," Spencer said, nodding graciously and taking a seat in front of me. The man walked around and stood at the side of the couch.

"Now, the true testing begins. The prophecy states that the prophet will come to us and we will make him our slave before disposing of him. How we have longed for this day. It's a pleasure to have you in our home."

Spencer didn't take his eyes off me. I raised my eyebrows at the man's ridiculous speech, Spencer's eyes begging me not to open my mouth. "Philip, you need to realize that those prophecies. They are all a lie," Spencer stated. He went into a lengthy explanation about why what he was saying was true, playing into the fantasies of these people but trying to make them change their mind. I tried to keep up with him, but I was so exhausted, physically and emotionally from being in this home that I couldn't focus on the words coming out of his mouth.

The man paced the floor as Spencer talked, considering his words. Then he stopped suddenly, and his large fists coming down onto the table, knocking the cookies and milk into the floor, "You are lying!"

I felt myself flinch, barely being able to move due to the grip of the woman's hands on my shoulders. Spencer's eyes widened and I felt myself getting restless at the sight of his concern.

Spencer licked his lips, looking up at the woman, "Why don't you let her go and we can talk."

"No."

"No!" I heard us both answer in unison, hers more of a calm and assertive tone and mine the voice of panic.

"You are not in charge here, Prophet," the man stated, reaching behind the couch to retrieve a bag. He sat it down on the table, pulling a small clear bottle of liquid out of it.

I saw Spencer's eyes widened as the man also pulled out a syringe and laid it out on the table. The man looked at Spencer, crossing his arms, "I want you to take this."

Spencer's mouth opened several times, trying to form words, "What is this."

"You know what it is," the man stated calmly, "I know about you and your habits, Prophet."

Spencer's eyes glanced quickly at mine and back at the things laid out before him on the table. Not saying a word.

"What is he talking about Spencer," I asked, searching his eyes for an answer.

"You don't know?" the woman asked, her witchy cackle escaping her lips, "The Prophet is unpure."

"It's Dilaudid, Kara," Spencer stated, fear creeping up into his expression.

_Was that what they gave me last night? _"I don't understand."

"It doesn't matter!" the man exclaimed, "What matters is that we start the ritual."

I felt the woman quickly jerk my head back by my hair, something cold being pressed to my throat. I froze, trying not to swallow the overabundance of saliva that just entered my mouth.

"Do it or she dies," the woman stated calmly.

I could see the sweat forming on Spencer's brow, his eyes quickly glancing down at his watch, "Okay, but just put the knife down please."

The woman lowered the cold steel away from my throat, still inches away from my body, but now fully in my view. _That's quite a large blade, _I thought, panic rising from the very depth of my being.

The woman motioned with her blade to the bottle, encouraging Spencer to pick it up.

"I'm going to need to take my belt off," Spencer explained, putting his hands to his waist. He removed it slowly, keeping his eyes on me and the woman, occasionally glancing at the man, sometimes his watch. What was he waiting for? He pulled the belt off, expertly pulling it tightly around his arm. He reached down to the needle, sticking it into the bottle and retrieving the fluid into the syringe. His eyes met mine for a second, trying to determine what was going through my mind. I was so confused. _Are they saying he's used this stuff before? If he has, that's some strong stuff and it's probably very addictive. It knocked me out in a second last night and if it does the same to him, we were both in trouble. And I didn't want him to have to struggle with such an addiction again, if that was the case. _

I watched Spencer adjust the belt on his arm, lowering the needle to his skin.

"No! Stop! Please!" I exclaimed, trying to pull myself off the couch and grab the syringe in Spencer's hands, the woman's fingers in my hair the only thing keeping me from rising from the couch. I saw Spencer pause, his eyes widening, begging me to sit down and stop. I heard the man growl out loud like a monster before flipping the coffee table over, throwing the bag and all its contents across the room.

"Let me do it. Don't make him. Please." I begged, looking up at the man. His eyes bore into mine, angry flames dancing behind them. Before I could beg more, I felt the hard sting of his open palm hitting me across the face, blood spurting out of my mouth. "Ugg," I exclaimed, squeezing my eyes shut, scared of another blow.

"Philip. Philip," I heard Spencer say, in that calming voice if his, "she's trying to distract you from your goals. Don't listen to her."

I opened my eyes, turning my face back to the man, "Let me have it please. You won't have any fun torturing him if he's asleep."

"Kara!" I heard Spencer exclaim, scrambling for words to chastise me, "This-this is just ridiculous. You can't possibly listen to her."

I heard the woman laugh again, letting go of my hair, "If the girl wants it so badly, give it to her."

The man grabbed the syringe out of Spencer's hand and grabbed my arm. I shrank back from him in fear, the anger from his eyes, boring into my very soul. "Fine, you will miss the execution of the prophet," he stated, stabbing the syringe into my arm, a small and painful noise escaping from me.

I looked up at Spencer, feeling the effects of the drug almost immediately. I saw him reach up to the strap of his vest, fumbling for what looked like a walkie talkie. "Morgan," he stated, before the man could turn his attention away from me and back to Spencer.

"Get down," he mouthed at me, I think, not sure due to his face blurring into three or four of him. I felt my body relaxing, tempting me to close my eyes and go to sleep. I heard the door of the home burst open, "Stop FBI" being yelled out, and saw Spencer reach out to grab me. He pulled me down to the ground with him, the sound of gunfire the last thing I heard before I passed out.

_**Alright guys, I hope you've enjoyed the story so far! This isn't the end by any means! Please feel free to review or PM me any ideas that you have or what you think of the story! Thanks so much!**_


	6. 6: You're A Bad Liar

_I watched in horror as Spencer sat on the couch in my living room, tourniquet wrapped around his arm, pulling the liquid out of the bottle, into the syringe. The top of the syringe still in that sexy mouth of his._

_The corner of his lip turned up, smiling at me, "This is going to be great."_

_I shook my head, unable to answer him, to disagree with him, because of the gag in my mouth, smothering me, silencing me._

_He spit the top out of his mouth, scooting closer to me on the couch. He leaned over to me, whispering in my ear, "We are going to get so high, Kara. You will see. It's splendid."_

_I saw him reach for my arm, placing the syringe at the base of my own tourniquet, unable to fight against him because of my wrists being bound behind my back. Bound by handcuffs. Spencer's eyes met with mine, slowly sticking the needle into my arm, laughing as the injection slowly fed into my veins. I screamed behind the gag, "No, Spencer! No! No! No!"_

"_Kara…Kara…" I heard in the distance, whispering reassurances to me. _

"No!" I screamed, sitting up in the bed, ripping the IV's from my arm, trying to scramble out of the bed. But Spencer was there, his hands forcing me back on the bed.

"Kara, it's okay. Kara, listen to me," he cooed, trying to calm me.

"No! Spencer! No, no no no no!" I repeated, bucking at his arms, trying to get away.

I felt him reach up above me, grabbing something and simply stating, "Nurse."

The next thing I know, a lady in a white gown was approaching me, needle in hand, "It's okay, Kara. Just calm down please."

"No!" I screamed as she placed the needle in my arms, pushing the liquid into my veins.

"It's going to be okay," Spencer whispered, holding me down on the bed as I slipped into oblivion.

* * *

"_Duuuuude" I slurred, following Dr. Reid into his apartment. I looked around, noticing the sparse décor in his home, "You need to let me come over, redecorate."_

_Dr. Reid studying me intently, closing the door behind us, "What's wrong with it?"_

"_Nothing, oh nothing, if you like being boring," I giggled, looping my arm through his, following him into his kitchen. "Some color, doctor, that's all." _

"_Would you like some water? I'm going to have some myself, I'm afraid we've had too much to drink," he stated, retrieving 2 bottled waters from the refrigerator, and handing me one._

_I laughed again, unable to control my giggles at this adorable man trying to be so in control of himself when we were both drunk off our asses. I took a seat at his table, unscrewing the water and watching him as he drank his own, mouth gulping down the water as if it were life force. I bit my lip, trying to hold back my giggles._

"_What?" he asked, sitting the empty bottle down. _

"_You are so cute," I stated, waving my hand at him as if that explained everything. _

_He raised an eyebrow, coming to stand closer to me, placing his hand on my shoulder, "You think so?"_

"_Oh, I _know _so," I insisted, placing my hand over his and standing up from the chair. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself up on my toes to plant a long kiss on his luscious lips, pushing him back against the counter as I did so. I felt him gripping my waist, kneaded his fingers in my skin as if trying to remember every inch of me. _

_He ran his fingers through my hair, pulling back to look in my eyes, "Kara, ya know, Morgan was a sneaky man tonight. Making me come to the club with ulterior motives. He said there was a Star Trek trivia game going on."_

_I laughed out loud, "Wow, that's funny. My own _cousin_ dragged me out. I mean, I was trying to study, man. School, it's kind of a big deal. And here she is being all, 'hey we are going to party with the BAU" and I'm all like "no, dude that guys trying to get in your pants'. And all along! They were in cahoots, Spencer. Cahoots together!"_

_We both fell back laughing, letting go of each other for a minute. Then he pulled me back to him quickly, turning us around and pressing me to the counter. He lifted me up onto the counter, pressing himself to me, wrapping his hands into my long hair again, kissing me like he couldn't get enough. I wrapped my legs around that slender body, being unable to do anything but respond to him, putting my arms around his neck to steady myself. He continued to kiss me, wandering down my neck at times, but always returning to my lips. I moaned into his lips, feeling his hardness grow, pressing against the most sensitive parts of me. Making me yearn for that feeling, for what I had used for years to hide the fact that I was scared. Scared of love. The butterflies erupting in my stomach now, scaring me, only fueling the fire more and I kissed Reid more intently. _

"_My room," he whispered, as I trailed kisses down his hard jawline. _

"_Okay," I whispered back, breathless, hardly able to stand on my own when he stepped back from the counter, his hands steadying me once I hit my feet. He took my hand, leading me down the hallway and to his bedroom. We stepped inside and he closed the door behind us, pulling me to him once again. I pressed my body to him, trying to overcome the butterflies and let the physical needs take me over. Love was hard, sex was easy. _

_He pulled me backwards toward his bed, my hands going to his tie, removing it quickly and efficiently, swinging it around in the air a couple of times before throwing it across the room. Spencer laughed at me, kissing me again, running his hands under my tank, lifting it over my head. I responded by quickly unbuttoning the buttons on his dark patterned shirt, urgency hitting me like a brick. He continued to kiss me, roaming his hands over my body, hitting those spots that I liked, moaning in response to keep him going. Fumbling at his pants, Spencer dropped them to the floor. He pulled me against him again, pulling me down with him onto the bed. I ran my hands through his messy hair, kissing him, savoring the moment. Spencer, allowing small sexual sounds escape from him occasionally, as if he was embarrassed that he was making those sounds. They only encouraged me further, my hands reaching below his boxers to touch him._

_A primal sound escaped Spencer as he reached up to me, pulling me even closer to him. Rolling over on top of me, he ground himself into me, burying his face into my throat. _

"_Kara," he breathed, as I continued to move my hand against his manhood. _

"_Yes," I whispered, his kisses trailing down my throat, his hands at the button on my leather pants. _

"_You, you need to stop-" he mumbled to me, "I- I won't last." He reached down, grabbing my hand and bringing it above my head, pulling my other hand with it, pinning me to the bed. He left one hand holding me down, the other hand, exploring my body along with his mouth. His hand returned to my pants, undoing the zipper and using both his hands, pealed them off the lower half of my body. He crawled back up to me, planting kisses along my neck, letting his right hand explore the detailed patterns of my lacey underthings. I lifted my body off the bed, trying to press myself closer to him, as if that were possible. He let go of my hands, kissing his way down my chest, down my stomach and pausing at my belly button. He looked up at me, raising his eyebrows in question. _

"_Spencer," I whispered, suddenly concerned about this feeling rising in my stomach when he placed a chaste kiss right above my panty line. _

"_What?' he asked, pausing and looking back up at me._

"_I- I don't feel so hot," I explained. _

"_You should've drank the water," he stated, returning to my face to kiss me._

"_I-I'm sure you're right. And, well, I hate to ruin this. I don't want to stop this right now but I…I would really hate to throw up in your bed." I explained, my voice trailing off, smiling up at him._

_His eyes opened widely, "Oh. Yea okay." Spencer pulled himself off me, pointing a finger in the air, " I will be right back!" he left the room, leaving me half naked on the bed. I pulled myself up to a sitting position, putting my head in my heads. _Uggggg.

_Spencer returned a few minutes later with a cold bottled water. He sat on the bed beside me, hair sticking to his head from out passionate escapades, " Here, I'm serious, drink this," he insisted._

_I did as he asked, drinking down the water, "Don't you need some too?"  
" I already had several bottles, Kara. You are just way behind."_

_Laughing at him, I finished the water as he asked, crawling up in bed with him and closing my eyes. Something inside me telling me I would be safe and secure in bed with Dr. Reid. _

* * *

I opened my eyes to a white ceiling, moaning in pain. I turned my head to the left, seeing Spencer asleep in the chair beside the bed, his hand in mine. I tried to smile, my muscles not responding as I wanted them to due to the pain.

"Spencer," I whispered, hoping to catch his attention.

He sat up in his chair, rubbing his eyes with his free hands, "Kara? Are you awake?"

I nodded, trying to keep my eyes open, tying to focus on Spencer as the world threatened to fade out again.

Spencer leaned in towards me, eyes open with worry, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," I responded, closing my eyes.

"Hey," he whispered, caressing the side of my face.

I opened my eyes again, forcing myself to smile at him, "I-I remember everything."

Spencer closed his eyes, pursing his lips, and looking at me again, "I was kind of hoping some of those things would be erased from your memory when you woke up."

I gripped his hand tighter, "No, I mean, I-about when we went to your house after, after the club."

"Oh," he whispered, looking around nervously.

"I'm so embarrassed," I giggled, pain hitting me again, causing me to cough violently.

Spencer's worried expression spread over his face. "Do you need me to call the nurse?"

I shook my head, looking back up into his eyes. I raised my hand up to tuck a stray stand of hair behind his ears, fighting through the pain, feeling the need to touch him, "Spencer, I was so worried. I-thank you. Thank you for saving me."

"There's no way I would have left you there, Kara," he stated, smiling down at me, continuing to caress the side of my face, "I care way too much…"

I smiled at him, trying to fight the onset of sleep that threatened to pull me back under, "Last time we talked, before I left your office. You said-you said you didn't understand…"

Spencer smiled down at me, brown eyes wide. He planted a kiss on my forehead, pulling the covers up on me when I shivered and whispered, "What I wanted to say-what I was afraid to say…I didn't understand this weird feeling in my body when I see you. It's like this fluttering in my stomach-"

"Butterflies," I suggested, "It's okay. I have them too."

"That's good to know," he stated, kissing my hand and placing it back on the bed, keeping my other in his hand, "You need to rest okay?"

I nodded, starting to drift off again, "Spencer?"

"Yes?"

"What was that stuff in the syringe?"

He paused for a second, pausing and thinking before he answered, "Luckily, it was just a strong dose of hydrocodone. They were lying about it being something else. A couple of doses shouldn't bother you. You just need some rest, catch up on the sleep you've missed and let yourself distress. You're dehydrated and missing a lot of nutrients. That's what the IV is for. You ripped it out earlier when you woke up."

"No wonder it hurts," I stated, trying to force myself to smile again. "Spencer?"

"Yeah?"

"Please don't leave me here. I hate hospitals."

"Don't worry, Kara," I heard him whisper as I began to slip into unconsciousness, "I have plenty of vacation days piled up and I'm using them now. I'm not going anywhere."

The next day, Spencer drove me home, not letting go of my hand the whole ride. The majority of the ride was in silence, me wearing his tortoise Ray Ban sunglasses to avoid the bright sun, staring out the window and trying to sort my thoughts. I was so nervous. Nervous to go back home. It didn't feel safe anymore. I didn't want to be alone.

"So who were those people?" I asked, breaking the silence and turning my attention towards Spencer.

"Phillip and Sandra Johnson. We have been working on a case where young women were disappearing and being found dead in a 30 mile radius of the town. We were getting close to identifying who the unsubs were when the members of the BAU started getting letters sent to them, threatening us and our loved ones if we didn't back off. Of course we continued on with the case…I guess they saw us together at some point and decided to take things into their own hands. I'm sorry, Kara, I never meant to put you in danger…I never wanted to risk you safety."

"There's no way you could have known they were serious, Spencer. You're very smart but I'm pretty sure you can't read minds."

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, "Unfortunately no. Still, things could have gotten a lot worse if I hadn't gotten there in time…"

He trailed off, not finishing his sentence. I didn't encourage him on because I didn't really want to know. I didn't want to even think about what could have happened if the FBI didn't arrive when they did…if they had killed all those women…they could have done the same to me.

When we pulled up to my home, Spencer opened his door and dropped my hand, "I am going to come open your door. Don't move." Fear shot through me at the drop of his hand and I grasped for it again.

"It's okay," he reassured me, stepping out of the car and walking around to my side. As soon as he opened the door, he reached for me, taking my hand and helping me up the driveway to the door of my home. He raised his hand to knock on the door, Jessie answering before he could do so.

"Kara! Oh my gosh, I was so worried. They wouldn't let me in to see you and wouldn't tell me what happened. I came home and you were gone and I called Spencer and they knew something was wrong but they couldn't- wouldn't tell me," she rambled as we walked in the door.

"Jessie, I'm sorry," was all I could muster, feeling her take me in her arms and hug me, a little too tightly, "Ow, back off a little, cuz."

She jumped back, apologizing profusely and allowing Spencer to walk me into the living room. I paused, looking up the stairs to my room, flashbacks hitting me about the day I was taken. I cringed against Spencer's side. He pulled me to him, kissing the top of my head.

"It's okay," he stated, reassuring me. He continued to pull me into the living room, sitting down with me on the couch. Jessie stood in the doorway awkwardly, unsure of what to do.

Spencer looked into my eyes, "I'm going to have to run out for a minute-"

Panic rose in my body, "No…"

He looked around the room, searching for the right words to say, eyes settling on Jessie, "Will you sit with her?"

"Sure," Jessie replied, coming to sit down on the love seat beside us.

"Thank you," he said, turning back to me, "I won't be gone long, I promise."

He stepped up from the couch, my hand not letting go of his, "No please. Don't go yet." I pleaded, trying to pull him back down on the couch with me.

"Is she going to be okay?" Jessie asked, concern on her face.

"She will be fine. She just needs some time to adjust. She's had quite the traumatic experience," he answered, running his finger down my cheek reassuringly. "Listen, I'm just going to get us some food. You need to eat."

"I'll go with you," I volunteered, "We- we can make something here."

"Kara," he started, trying to remain calm with me but irritation slipping trough. He used his free hand to reach into his holster, retrieving his gun and handing it to Jessie. "Hold on to this. Don't let her have it."

Jessie nodded, "No problem."

Spencer turned back to me, big brown eyes asking me to let go. I nodded, dropping his hand and curling up on the couch with a pillow. He leaned down, planted a kiss on my forehead, and left.

As soon as I heard the door close, I felt the tears swell up in my eyes. I buried my face in the pillow, feeling the muffled pain from my bruises as I did so. I didn't care though, I had to let it out. After two days in the hospital and no time to mourn, I had to get it out. Jessie came over and sat on the couch with me, wrapping her arms around me.

"It's okay," she whispered, "you're safe now. No one is going to hurt you."

I must have cried myself to sleep because I woke up alone on the couch, hearing Jessie open the front door. I looked over quickly, seeing Spencer stepping inside with a bag in his hand. He whispered something to Jessie and she handed him his gun and went up the stairs. He put the gun back in the holster on his belt, sitting down beside me on the couch and placing the bag on the floor.

He reached up to my face, wiping it gently with his hand, "You've been crying."

"It's just too much Spencer. Being kidnapped, tortured. Thinking-knowing, I wasn't going to make it. Worrying that you….that you wouldn't' make it. How am I supposed to move on?" I asked, looking up at him, hoping the intelligent Dr. Reid would have an answer for me.

"You will make it through. I understand what you're going through. I've been there. It just takes time."

"How-how did you cope?"

Spencer pursed his lips, eyes traveling around the room, "Not in the best ways, Kara. But I'm here to help you. I wouldn't let others help me."

Deciding to take things into my own hands, I leaned over to him, kissing his lips. He pulled back, tucking my hair behind my ear, "Kara…I-" I didn't let him finish his sentence before I kissed him again, more forcefully this time, wanting to forget about the past few days and bury myself in something else that would take the pain away. Spencer backed away from me on the couch, me following him to the other side, trying to kiss him again, trying to crawl into his lap. "Kara," he objected, "Kara!"

"Spencer, please. I need this. I can't deal with the pain," I begged, grasping at his sweater.

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows, placing his hands on either side of my face carefully, "Kara, sweetie, this isn't the time. That's not something you need to do to hide the pain."

His words hit me like a train, the reality of what he was saying settling in my brain. He was right of course, it was the same thing I had tried to tell myself over the years. This was my coping mechanism. This is what I did to feel better about myself, about my insecurities. It was something I learned years ago when I was dating Danny, the abusive boyfriend from high school. Hiding my worst fears and blocking off any emotions I would begin to feel whenever I met a guy. Ruining relationships before they begun, pretending I didn't care.

I felt the tears swell up in my eyes again, "I'm so sorry, Spencer."

"It's okay," he whispered, pulling me into his embrace, stroking my hair comfortingly. I buried my face in his chest, sobbing uncontrollably, letting it all out. Not just the past few days, but all the years of holding in all the pain, trying to pretend everything was okay. Unable to control my sobs, I cried it out, the kidnapping, the physical and emotional toll it had taken on me. I'd had my rest. I'd had my fluids and nutrients pumped into me from my IV. The only thing I had left was this sinking feeling that I would never be safe again.

When I finally came to my senses, I pulled back from Spencer's chest, "I really need to clean up...I feel disgusting."

A slight smile tugged at my lips when Spencer smiled down at me, "Let's get you all fixed up so I can show you what I brought back with me."

He took my hand, rising off the couch with me and approaching the stairs. I felt some panic in my chest as we neared them, but I was determined not to let those crazy individuals ruin my own home.

"This is still your home," Spencer said, reassuringly, "They are dead and they can't hurt you anymore."

I nodded at his words, following him up the stairs and into my bedroom. I walked over to my drawer, pulling out my pink and white plaid pajamas, my favorite.

"Those are cute," Spencer commented, trying to hide a smile.

"Shut up," I said, slapping him with the clothes and pulling him out into the hallway to the bathroom.

"I will be outside if you need anything," he said as I closed the door behind me. I slipped out of my clothing, turning on the water and stepping inside the shower. I let the water wash over me, cleansing me of the filth from the past few days. It was painful on some parts of my body, yet it alleviated some of the pain at the same time. After feeling perfectly clean, I toweled off and put on my pajamas. Pulling my wet hair in a bun on top of my head, I stepped outside of the bathroom, a minute of panic hitting me when Spencer was nowhere to be seen.

"Spence?" I asked into the open hallway.

"I'm down here," I heard him say from the bottom of the stairs. I ran quickly down the stairs and stopped at the door to the living room. Spencer stood in the middle of the living room, gray shirt and striped pajama bottoms, popcorn in hand, with pillows and blankets all in the floor in front of the television.

I couldn't hide the smile from my face, the butterflies returning to their rightful place in my stomach, "What do you think you are doing to my living room Dr. Reid."

"I'm planning a long overdue date with a beautiful blonde girl. Have you seen her? I hear she likes Alfred Hitchcock movies and extra buttered popcorn," his brown eyes beaming at me.

"Well," I started, walking into the room and plopping down onto the pile of pillows, "If she doesn't show up, I'd be more than happy to take her place."

Spencer smiled that beautiful smile of his and sat down beside me, "Sounds like a plan."

I took the bowl of popcorn out his hands, wrapping my arms around it possessively, "My precious," I stated, reaching in to the popcorn and placing a large handful in my mouth.

Spencer laughed at my Lord of the Rings reference and grabbed the remote control, flipping on the television, "Lights on or off?"

"Off, duh," I said, pushing his shoulder and urging him to do something about it. Spencer fell over to his side as if I'd pushed him hard, rolling over and jumping up. I giggled at him as he flipped off the light and came back to sit with me.

He stretched his long legs out in front of him and looked over at me, "So I ran off that crazy cousin of yours. Date night wouldn't be the same with her around."

"That's appreciated. I know she was worried but she can smother a person," I said, my eyes wondering down his outfit, taking note of how the soft fabric clung to his body in places, loose in others, confused when I reached the mismatched socks on his feet.

"What kind of fashion statement is that?" I asked, pointing to his feet.

He laughed, "That my dear is nothing but superstition."

"Uh huh," I stated, pulling the remote from his hand and pushing the button for the DVD player, "What did you pick out for us this evening Dr. Reid."

"Well, it's the 1963 classic _The Birds. _It seemed harmless enough. However, it seems like you are taking over the date here so you may change it. It's not the only one I brought."

"Sorry," I apologized, sticking out my lip in a pout. I held up the popcorn bowl to him, offering him some. When he reached into the bowl, I pulled it away from him, laughing, "Hahaha, you thought you had me didn't you."

Spencer widened his eyes, eyebrows elevated, giving me that puppy dog stare and melting my heart. "No fair!" I protested, "You can't do that!" I pressed play on the movie and reached into the popcorn bowl. I pulled out two pieces of popcorn, "Open up."

"You're not going to feed me," he stated, losing the playful smile.

"Yes I am."

"No, you're not. I can feed myself."

"Oh yes I am!" I insisted, pushing the popcorn in his mouth before he could close it.

He jerked back from me, falling onto the pillow, hands at his throat. Not cracking a smile, he looked up at me in fear.

"Oh my gosh! Spencer!" I exclaimed, leaning over him, "Are-are you choking?!"

He reached up to me, losing his serious face, and pulling me down onto the floor with him, laughing the whole way. We rolled around on the floor, laughing at each other, him finally winning the battle when he pinned me to the ground.

"No fair, you cheat," I stated, "I'm in pain."

Spencer shook his head, unable to keep the smile off his face, "I didn't cheat. And you are feeling a lot better, I can tell. You've had plenty of pain medicine and rest the past few days and the bruises have already started to fade."

I pursed my lips, "You suck."

He laughed, "Well we will just have to fix that." He moved his head down to my bruised cheek, planting a soft kiss on it. He then moved lower down my body, planting kisses on both my wrists where the bruises were most prominent. "Don't you move," he warned, scooting down to my feet. He slowly pushed the bottom of my left pant leg up to my knees and planted kisses on my sore calf, sending a thrill up my body.

I bit my lip, looking down at him, "You had better stop playing around if you want that popcorn."

Spencer smiled at me, scooting back up beside me and taking claim of the popcorn bowl, "Still mad at me?"

I tried to keep a straight face, "Yes."

He popped some popcorn in his mouth as I glared at him. He chewed delightfully, turning his attention back to the movie. His hand went for another handful when I grabbed it, running my tongue up the side of one of his fingers to remove the butter. A look crossed over his face as I took one of his fingers into my mouth, one that was purely male. One that I hadn't seen so intensely on his face before.

"What are you doing?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Nothing," I answered, dropping his hand and reaching for my own handful of the popcorn.

I continued to help myself with the popcorn, pretending to immerse myself in the movie. I could feel him watching me out of the corner of my eye, wiping his hand on his pants. _Gosh this popcorn is for real buttery,_ I thought, resisting the temptation to wipe my hand on my pajamas. Still aware of him watching me, I stuck my finger in my mouth, licking the butter off it. "Mmmm," I mumbled, continuing to get the remainder of the popcorn off my fingers.

"I think we need some napkins," Spencer stated, standing up and leaving the room.

I giggled to myself, feeling better than I had in days. Feeling completely at ease in my living room, Spencer by my side, no pressure to be anyone but myself. I hadn't felt so truly happy in years.

When Spencer returned, he sat back down beside me, handing several napkins to me, "Use these, _please_."

"Sure thing," I smiled, taking them from him. Spencer continued to be still beside me, no longer reaching for popcorn. I wasn't even really sure if he was watching the movie. After a few minutes of silence, I looked over at him. His gaze was on the movie, but his mind was definitely somewhere else.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him, startling him.

He looked over at me, stammering to find the right words, "I, um, well, I'm watching the movie."

"Spencer, I don't think the movie is quite as deep as that look on your face."

"No?" he asked, returning his gaze to the movie. "I mean, attacking birds? People seeing this as a sign of the apocalypse? It's just ridiculous."

"It's a movie, Spence. I take it you aren't that into scary movies."

"I see some pretty scary stuff on a daily basis. Scary movies? I can appreciate them. It's just that this one in particular has me baffled," he explained, furrowing his brow in concentration again and making me feel like he wasn't talking about the movie.

I raised an eyebrow, poking him in the side with my finger, "Lighten up Sherlock Holmes. What are you really thinking about?"

Spencer jumped when I touched him, "The movie, Kara, really."

"You're a bad liar."

Spencer ignored me, continuing to focus his attention on the movie.

"Okay, have it your way," I stated, turning back to the movie.

Halfway through the movie, I felt Spencer scooting over closer to me, eyes still concentrating on the television. I responded by moving the popcorn bowl to the other side of me so I could scoot closer to him. I smiled over at him, placing my hand on his leg. I felt him tense for a second, not acknowledging me. _Hmmm. _

"Are you nervous?" I asked him, raising my eyebrow,

He looked over at me, trying to erase the shock on his face, "What?! No. Why, why would I be nervous? That's um, that's ridiculous." He stated, returned his attention to the television again.

"Okay…" I stated, moving my hand into my lap.

I moved my attention back to the television, ignoring the pressing thought that something was on his mind. I felt myself starting to get sleepy as we sat there in the dark, trying to hold back the yawns that kept coming to me.

Spencer yawned too, stretching his arms into the air, one of the wrapping around me as he brought them back down. I suppressed a giggle. _He totally didn't just do that,_ I thought. _He really is nervous. _ I settled into the bend of his arm, laying my head on his shoulder and continued watching the movie. He continued to hold me that way for a while, twirling circles on my arm with his finger.

Finally he spoke, "Kara."

"And he speaks," I said, turning my head to look up at him.

"I want to talk to you about the 'butterflies'.

"Yea, go ahead," I smiled, pushing a stray strand of hair behind his ear.

He furrowed his eyebrows, a confused look coming over his face, "It's just that, we haven't known each other very long and this feeling-feeling that I have when I'm with you. It doesn't seem real."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I was hoping you could give me some insight into what you are feeling. What you've seen in the past because I-I don't have a lot of expertise in this field."

I sat up a little straighter, moving over so I could look him in the eye but put some space between us. He was asking me about my feelings…something I was afraid to share with him. I folded my arms, "Well…Spencer, the butterflies that I have tell me that I have feelings for you. Like, can't eat, can't sleep, fireworks exploding, eye opening, hitting you like a tidal wave, all you can think about kind of feelings. Like when you and I are in the same room, the whole room lights up. It's like, like I'm home. I haven't, I haven't felt this strongly before. From the moment we met. You made me crazy, I couldn't keep the klutz in me under control when you walked into the room. I'm a very confident girl when it comes to men, but with you, I was like putty in your hands. You made me nervous. We're two totally different people but I feel like, we just make sense. But I thought, maybe, if I told you, you'd run away because it's not rational, it's not typical. It just…it just is and I don't know how else to explain it." I bit my lip, anticipating what he had to say. There it was, out there for the world to see. But he didn't answer me, continuing to furrow his brows and looking deep in concentration. Maybe I had said the wrong thing. Maybe I shouldn't have told him.

"Kara I-" he started, stopping and running his hands though his hair.

_What is he thinking… _

Holding my breath, I continued to search his face for some answer, some iota of an idea of what he was thinking. He sat there for a few more minutes, thinking, driving me crazy.

"No, I-I know what you mean. Ever since we met, I've had trouble concentrating at work. I haven't been giving my 100% because I keep seeing all of these things that I know would interest you and I want to call you, text you, and tell you about them! It excites me, keeps me going. When you called me because there was someone in the house, and I heard you struggling. I was so scared. Terrified that I wouldn't get to share these feelings with you, wouldn't get to talk to you about this crazy feeling I get when I'm with you. To hear you explain yours to me, it helps me feel so normal. I thought maybe I was going crazy."

_Oh my gosh! He feels the same way!_

But now he was quiet again and looking in the other direction. Finally looking at me with that furrowed expression, "I think…I love you." The way he said it was partially a question, biting his upper lip and looking at me as if I had the answer.

"I thought you'd never say that," I exclaimed, reaching over to him and kissing him.

I felt him stiffen, placing his hands on my arms and pulling away, his eyes searching my face, "Jessie told me about Danny, I don't know if…if you could ever…do you feel the same way?"

"Yes Spencer, of course. I love you. You just don't even realize how much," I stated, seeing _that _wonderful smile spreading over his face.

He leaned into me, kissing me sweetly. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him and laying his forehead against mine, "You know, with my job I'm away a lot. We might not get to spend a lot of time together."

"It's okay," I smiled, "we will find a way to make it work."


	7. 7: For Breakfast

I awoke the next morning in the pillow covered floor, the smell of coffee drifting to me. I looked over at the DVD player, taking in the time. 5:30 AM. _Uggg, someone is an early riser. _ I closed my eyes, pulling a blanket up over my head, trying to block out the sunlight peeping in the slits in the blinds on the window.

I felt the pillows behind me shuffle, knowing it was Spencer making himself back at home in the floor. He pulled himself up behind me, tucking himself under the blanket. I could feel him align his body with mine, settling himself into place. He moved my hair off to the side, whispering in my ear, "Are you awake?"

"Barely," I replied, "I don't really function before 8."

I felt him nuzzle my ear with his nose, breathing into it, sending a chill down my body, "I used your futuristic coffee machine, I hope you don't care."

"It's a Keurig, Spencer, not rocket science," I smiled, cuddling myself back in his embrace, feeling a familiar sensation pressing against my lower back.

"Rocket science a colloquial term for a primary branch of engineering, that I might understand," he stated, beginning to plant kisses down the side of my neck.

I felt my heartbeat quickening, responding to his gentle touch. He placed his hand on my hip, pulling my shirt up and running his hand ever so slightly across my stomach, continuing to run kisses along my neck and my jawline. "I love you," he whispered, his hand rising up my stomach and skimming over my breast and back down, fiddling with the waist band of my pajama bottoms.

"I love you too, Spencer," I replied, trying to wake up from my sleepy state of mind, blissfully aware of him undoing the tie on my pants. I felt him push the pants down slightly, enough to lower his hand onto me, slipping one of his long fingers inside of me. I arched my back against him, moaning as he continued to pleasure me. I rolled over onto my back, looking up at him. He was leaned on his elbow, looking down at me, that look from the night before playing over his face. That look that was so male and so Spencer etched into one. He removed his hand from my pajama bottoms, pulling himself on top of me and putting his knees between mine, forcing my legs apart. Lowering himself to his elbows, he began kissing me deeply, running his right hand down the center of my top. Slowly, he used his fingers to undo the buttons, moving up one at a time, driving me crazy. His mouth moved down my chin to my neck, leaving the taste of coffee on my tongue. I tangled my hands in his hair, trying to let him continue to have the control. He hadn't been the one to initiate these kinds of things so far and I wanted him to have the confidence to do so. Sleeping beside him last night had been torcher for me, rolling around throughout the night, trying to concentrate on sleep and not other things. We'd fell asleep watching movies and it was a wonderfully innocent fun night. Waking up to such an exploratory Spencer made me happy. There was no way I could resist him.

When he reached the top of my shirt, he pulled both pieces of cloth to the sides, a groan escaping his lips. He made his way back up my neck, reaching his hands up to undo the tie in my hair and running his hands through the mess. He kissed me again, grabbing my hands and placing them on his skin under his shirt. I ran my hands up the sides of his body, peeling the shirt off him in the process. He moved enough for me to pull the shirt over his head and toss it to the side. Returning to kiss me, I wrapped my arms around him, grasping at his back. He lowered his pelvis to me, grinding himself to me. "Spencer," I breathed, my hands trailing down his chest, past his stomach and to the top of his pajama bottoms. He pulled me up to a sitting position, still kneeling, but giving me more access to him. I pulled the band of his pants down to his knees and he pushed me back down on the pillows. He ran his hands down my sides, grabbing the sides of my own pajama bottoms and pulling them down and off of me. Positioning himself back on top of me, he kissed me, deeply, passionately. I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer to me.

"Kara," his whispered into my mouth, closing the distance between us. I laid my head back, biting my lip and grasping his back with my hands. He began moving back and forth, his dance sending a thrill though my entire body. I tried to keep up with him, his body moving more and more desperately as we moved, his hair dangling in my face and kissing me occasionally, swallowing my noises down into his throat.

I felt the pressure building inside of me, my pulse quickening. I could see in his face that he too was feeling the pressure, threatening to send us over the edge, to end this sweet serenade. He stopped momentarily, pulling me back up into the sitting position, encouraging me to take some control. I was happy to do so, moving quickly, burying my face into his neck. The pressure pushed harder and harder inside of me until I fell over the cliff, screaming out his name as he laid me down again, continuing his relentless assault on my senses.

I ran my fingers through his hair, trying to concentrate on anything else other than one of his hands skimming its way down my body, cupping me, stoking me, threatening to send me into another fit underneath him.

We continued on this way for several more minutes before I felt that feeling deep inside me again, a different kind of orgasm hitting me this time, swallowing me, and taking Spencer with me. I saw his mouth drop open, closing his eyes and falling down on top of me. Both of us shuddering in the aftermath of what had just happened.

"Shit Spencer, that was amazing," I breathed, finally feeling fully awake.

"Um hmm," he murmured, raising himself up off of me and planting a quick kiss on my lips.

"Sex for breakfast," I stated, "I could get used to this."

He laughed, rolling himself off of me and putting his hands to his face, "I'm starving."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Still?"

Spencer caught himself, shaking his head. "For food," he clarified.

I moved over, sprawling myself over him, "Not until I'm passed back out. It's too early."

I heard Spencer laugh again, running his hands through my hair slowly, sleepiness taking me over again at his caress. I saw him reach over into the pile of movies near the couch, coming back with a book in hand.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Edgar Allan Poe," he stated, opening the book and starting to read. I felt myself relax into his arms as he read _Annabelle Lee _to me, the dark love story sending me to sleep once again.

I woke up several hours later, noting the time as 9 AM happily. Sitting up, I ran my hand through my hair and looked around. The clutter from last night was cleaned up, most of the pillows and blankets picked up except for the ones that I was cuddled up in. I reached for my pants, pulling them on and standing up. I buttoned up a couple of the buttons on my top, and walked sleepily into the kitchen. Spencer sat at my table, coffee in one hand, a book in the other.

He looked up at me, a smile spreading on his face, "Hey."

"Hey," I replied, fixing myself a cup of coffee and sitting down beside him. "I feel so much better."

"Good," he stated simply, sipping his coffee and placing the book down on the table, "What's on the agenda for the day?"

"I don't know, hadn't thought much about it."

"How about a movie?" he suggested.

"Sure, why not. I will go get ready," I said, standing up and walking out of the kitchen.

I heard him following behind me, "Wait for me!"

After taking a long hot shower with Spencer, we both got dressed and headed out. We watched a movie and grabbed lunch, having a fun time together. We spent most of the afternoon at the park after lunch, catching up on each other's lives. He told me about his battles with Dilaudid and I told him about my battles with Danny. He talked about what life was like with the BAU and I shared my hopes for the future, getting a good job and getting into the FBI. Spencer showed me several magic tricks, more impressive ones as the day went on. I found myself laughing with him, entertained by the tricks, him unwilling to share his secrets.

"A good magician never reveals his secrets," he stated on more than one occasion when I tried to get him to tell me how he did them.

We stayed out late that night, returning to my home exhausted, and falling asleep in my bedroom.

Over the next few days, we spent every waking moment together, Spencer sharing his large intellect with me while I simply sat and listened, sharing my stories as well. He seemed surprised when I sat and let him ramble, often stopping and pointing out the obvious, "I'm rambling aren't I," he's ask. I'd just laugh and nod, encouraging him to continue to ramble. It was incredibly sexy, the amount of information he knew, being so young. I would often catch him, nose in a book. Cuddling up beside him, I asked him to read them to me. Some of them were way above my head, but I enjoyed listening to the sound of his voice, falling asleep almost every night to his stories. Spencer, more than happy to try to explain the meanings of some of the things I didn't understand.

I drug him to the club again on Friday night, just me and him. Of course I became crazy drunk, pulling him onto the dance floor and grinding myself up against him. Him standing there awkwardly, refusing to drink because he was our driver. Still, I danced my heart out, trying to get him into it, moving my hips against him, letting the music take me over. I vaguely remember trying to get him to take shots with me, insisting that we could take a cab home, and taking the shots myself when he refused. I remembered him pulling me away from the karaoke machine when I wanted to sing, telling me that I could sing when we got back to his apartment. About 1:30, he drug me out to the car, insisting that it was getting late. I was sure he was just tired of being in a place that wasn't "his thing".

Afterwards, we went back to his place, him forcing water down my throat so I wouldn't have a hang over the next morning. I took the water, unable to resist those big brown eyes of his, and so wasted that I wasn't afraid to point that out to him. "You are just way too adorable," I remembered telling him, him shaking his head at me each time I said it. I remembered leaving him in the kitchen to make his coffee, and making myself at home in the living room. I took over his IPOD dock, plugging in my own music and turning on my most provocative playlist. The Divinyls came on and I jumped up and down like a little girl, singing at the top of my lungs.

"_I love myself, I want you to love me. When I feel down, I want you above me. I search myself, I want you to find me. I forget myself, I want you to remind me_," I sung, swinging my hair around and singing to the wall, twirling around and dancing around the living room until I set my eyes on him.

He raised his eyebrow at me, coffee mug in hand when he entered the room. He sat down on his couch, laughing at me as I lost myself in the chorus, slowing dancing down to the floor and back up with my eyes on him.

I walked over to him, placing one foot carefully in front of myself, going into the second verse. I stopped in front of him, running my hands through my hair.

"Kara, you should probably turn that down," he stated through his smile, sitting the mug down on the coffee table by the lamp.

I shook my head, undoing my pants and dropping them to the floor. I climbed up into his lap, continuing on with my song, "_When you're around I'm always laughing. I want to make you mine. I close my mind and see you before me. Think I would die if you were to ignore me. A fool could see just how much I adore you_."

I felt his hands on my hips, trying to steady me, keep me from falling backwards off the couch in my drunken state. I threw my hair back, pressing myself to him, and whispering the next lines in his ear, "_I get down on my knees I'd do anything for you_."

"Kara," he started.

I put my finger on his lips, continuing to sing to myself, pulling my shirt over my head and kissing him full on the lips. He kissed me back, fingers tightening on my waist.

"Spencer," I moaned, dancing in his lap and running both of my hands through his hair, continuing to move my body to the beat of the song, relishing in the sound of the guitar and drumbeat, lost in Spencer's embrace.

The rest of the night was a blur. I awoke the next morning with a fully clothed Spencer asleep in bed beside me. My head was pounding, despite the water consumption, and my face was beet red from the embarrassment of stripping down to such an erotic song in front of him while I was drunk.

When Sunday night rolled around, he reminded me that he had to go back into the office the following day. He dropped me off at my door step that night, kissing me passionately and telling me he loved me. He promised to keep in contact while he was off at work, asking me to visit him when he came home. I knew his job was important and that it would take a lot of his time, but I agreed that he needed to go back so he didn't use up every vacation day that he had saved up. He might need them. I was feeling a lot better now, like my old self, and not worried to be alone.

I started working at the coffee shop again, my boss happy to see me back at work, having someone willing to work on Saturdays. I dreaded it though, knowing that Spencer would "have the weekend off".

My first day back was awful, I wasn't super comfortable out in public at this point, often catching myself wondering if customers were looking at me funny. Still, I continued to work, taking orders and trying my best not to let the uneasy feeling of uncertainty get to me. Trying to make myself get back into the swing of things, reminding myself it was coming up on our daily busy lunch hour.

"I'd like a mocha Frappuccino, Kara," the customer stated, smiling at me and handing me a credit card.

_How'd he know my name._ "What size?" I stammered, trying to pull myself together.

"Regular is fine."

"Okay, that will be 5.25,"I replied.

"Oh, I think I have cash," he said, reaching in his pocket and handing me the money.

I took it from him quickly, jerking my hand back when our fingers touched. I punched the buttons on the cash register, dropping the dollar bills and change to the floor when the drawer popped open with a loud ding. _Shit, _I scolded myself, bending down and retrieving the money.

I saw Stephen walk over to me, apologizing to the customer, and shutting the drawer. He leaned down behind the counter with me, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just a little shook up…it's a little much."

He reached over, taking the money out of my hand and putting his other hand over mine, "Why don't you go take a break?"

I raised my eyebrow at the gesture, removing my hand from his, "I think that's a good idea, thanks."

He brushed a stray strand of hair from my face, "When you come back, we can switch. You can make the coffee and I will man the register."

"Okay," I answered, taking a few deep breathes and standing up.

"I'm sorry," I apologized to the customer, removing myself from behind the counter and going to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and went to the sink, placing my hands on either side of the counter and shutting my eyes.

'_You better hope you behave yourself or you won't have the pleasure of seeing the prophet being executed… I should cut out your tongue for your lies, whore.' _

I shook my head, trying to clear the memories from my head. I had to pull myself together. Opening my eyes, I looked at myself in the mirror. Tired bright green eyes stared back at me, showing me that work was wearing me out fast. My blonde hair was pulled up in a ponytail, unwashed due to the inability to sleep the night before and wanting to sleep longer this morning as a result. Nightmares had plagued me during my first night without Spencer by my side. My side swiped bangs were pulled back over my head as well, pinned down with a bobby pin at the edge of my pony tail. Very little makeup covered my face, some concealer and mascara being all I'd had time for that morning. I had put on my favorite pink t-shirt and khakis, covering the front of my clothes with the black apron with the _The Coffee Bean _logo planted on it and my name tag tanging from the left corner. _That's how the customer knew your name, duh Kara._

I reached into my pocket, and retrieved my cell phone. No texts yet from Spencer. I was worried about him, going back on the job, not knowing for sure that he was safe where he was. Not knowing what kind of case he was working on and if he would have to put his life on the line to save someone. Whether or not he would have to pull his gun from the holster.

_Kara, STOP! _I ordered myself, trying to stop thinking so negatively. I had to get my mind back in the game, back on the job so I could finish the day and go home. Allowing myself to take a few more minutes in the bathroom, I played a couple of games of solitaire on my phone before returning to work.

Stephen greeted me with a smile when I returned, his brown eyes lighting up, "Better?"

"Yea I think so," I responded, taking a look at his order form and going to make the next order.

Business slowed down by shift change at 5 PM and I was thankful. My coworker Carrie was out in the shop, cleaning up tables from lunch while Stephen and I finished up the last few orders. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and took a second to check it.

_I hope your first day back at work was wonderful. It's been busy here today. We flew out to Tulsa Oklahoma and may not be back for a few days. I love you. –Dr. Reid_

I replied quickly. _It's been a rough day but I've made it. Please stay safe. Love you and miss you 3_

_3? –Dr. Reid_

I giggled. _It's a heart, Dr. Reid_

_Oh, I see. 3 –Dr. Reid_

"Who ya textin," Stephen asked, stepping up beside me.

I shut my phone quickly, not yet talking to my coworkers about Spencer, "No one."

"Uh huh," he replied, taking off his apron and shaking out his black hair, bangs landing back in that the same place on his forehead. "Do you want to grab something to eat? Catch me up on what's been going on with you?"

"Sure, that sounds great. Where were you thinking?"

"Subshop?"

"Heck yes," I replied, exciting to have something to do after work to unwind. Stephen and I often ate together after work. In the past year that I worked at the coffee shop, we had become pretty good friends. Sometimes the other coworkers would go eat with us, but usually it was just the two of us, Stephen sharing his love for music and me sharing the stress of classes. He was the guitar player in a band called "The Oddballs" and played some kind of alternative rock and roll. Jessie and I had went go several of their gigs, Jessie being a big fan of Derek the drummer and drooling over him through the night.

I waved goodbye to our coworkers coming in and followed Stephen out to our cars. He hopped in his old 67 Dodge Charger, following me down the road in my red BMW 128i convertible. We arrived at the Subshop, ordered our food and sat down in our usual corner.

"So I haven't seen you in like a week and a half, Kara. I've been worried about you."

I took a bite of my sandwich and nodded, "I'm fine, really."

"Last time I saw you, you left for lunch and didn't come back. The FBI showed up at the coffee shop, asking questions. You come back, on edge, not yourself. You can't tell me something crazy didn't happen."

"Okay, well maybe I just don't want to talk about it…"

Stephen took a long drink of his soda and shook his head, "The FBI, Kara. The BAU to be exact, you know exactly who I'm talking about. Lady in her 30s, long blonde hair by the name of Agent Jureau, real pretty. Some tall lanky dude with messy hair and a jacked up sense of style spouting questions like there's no tomorrow. Dr. Reid, I think? You've told me all about them."

_So they'd come looking for me. _"Well…long story short, I was kidnapped by some crazy people trying to get to one of the members of the BAU. They were mean. It sucked. I ended up with some pretty bad bruises in the process. The BAU showed up and rescued me and I took some time off work to recoup."

"But why would they use you to get to them?"

"Stephen, I really just don't' want to talk about it anymore. I'm trying to move on with my life and let things get back to normal," I insisted, flashing him an angry glare.

"Okay, okay. Got cha. Loud and clear. If you do decide that you want to talk, you know you can talk to me."

"I know, thanks…" I said, letting my voice trail off.

Stephen went on with the conversation, telling me about playing at the big auditorium in town and the large crowd that was there. He was excited about their upcoming gig in the outdoors amphitheater in the city. I let myself get lost in his voice, the passion he had when talking about his music, and let my negative thoughts disappear into the wind.

Throughout the rest of the week, I spent my days at the coffee shop, happy to work the day shift again and enjoy the company of Stephen, Carrie, and sometimes our boss Richard. We all got along great, making work easier to deal with. Stephen did his best to keep me smiling whenever he saw me getting down, continuing to try to get me to talk to him about what had happened. He insisted that getting out the bad "vibes" would help me feel better. I continued to give him minimal information, not sure that I really wanted anyone else to know the details about what happened. I chose to work some doubles during that week, avoiding being alone at home at night while Jessie was at work, trying to make the time go by faster until I could see Spencer again.

He ended up being gone for most of the week, keeping his promise by texting me when he had extra time during the day, even if it was a short "I love you". Sometimes he would send me pictures of the places he visited, not revealing details about the cases going on. He was back on Thursday, long enough for us to spend some time at his apartment, losing ourselves in each other, overwhelmed by the reality of being away from each other for so long. Unable to keep our hands off each other until we found ourselves cuddled up in his bed, reading stories from the Canterbury tales until we could no longer keep our eyes open.

I drug myself to the coffee shop on Saturday, knowing that Spencer would be off work even though I had to go in for a few hours. I immersed myself in my job, trying not to look at the clock, and let the time go by.

After our lunch rush, I was replenishing stock in the back when Stephen came looking for me, a confused look on his face, "That geeky dude from the FBI is here to see you."

I jumped, dropping the half-gallon of milk in my hands, sending the white liquid all over the floor of the stock room, "Oh crap!"

I grabbed for the mop across from me, slipping on the substance and falling backwards onto Stephen into the door.

"Whoa, killer," he laughed, placing his hands on my hips and steadying me. "I will get this cleaned up if you want to go see your _friend._"

I nodded, turning around and smiling up at Stephen, "Thank you."

I walked around him, into the shop, and saw the lone figure in the coffee shop. Spencer, standing at the counter, his hands in his pockets, brown eyes lighting up when he saw me, "What was that sound?" he asked.

"That would be my inner klutz making a mess again," I stated, going around the far side of the counter and wrapping my arms around him. I felt him wrap his arms around me in response, and planting a kiss on my head.

He pulled back from me and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, "How's work?"

"Better now," I stated, taking both of his hands in mine, "Want some coffee?"

"I was hoping you'd ask," he replied, dropping my hands and turning his attention to the menu.

"I got cha covered, Spencer, don't even look at that thing!" I rushed around the other side of the counter and began pouring him some coffee, putting lots of sugar in the mix. I returned to the counter with the mug and handed it to him, "It's on me."

"Thank you," he stated, picking up the mug and taking a drink, "It's delicious." I watched him begin to eye the snacks, picking up a bag and sitting it on the counter, "I want to get this too."

I pushed the bag towards him, winking at him, "It's on the house, doctor."

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely. Don't ask me again," I said, shaking my finger at him.

Spencer went back to his coffee, sipping it slowly and continuing to leave those gorgeous eyes on me. I couldn't help but smile at him, wondering how lucky I was to have him in my life.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" Stephen asked, walking up to the counter behind me and placing his hand on my shoulder.

"Yes! Stephen, this is Dr. Spencer Reid. Spencer, this is Stephen," I stated, stepping out from under Stephen's hand and making introductions.

Spencer waved his hand at Stephen, "Nice to meet you."

Stephen raised his eyebrow, "Same here. I remember you coming in to ask questions a couple of weeks ago. Does the FBI usually check back in on people after things have calmed down?"

"Actually, this was more of a personal visit with Kara."

"Is that within the professional boundaries of the BAU?" Stephen asked, crossing his arms.

_What has gotten into him? _I thought, opening my mouth to clarify, "He's my boyfriend, Stephen. We've been seeing each other since before all that mess."

Stephen pursed his lips, slamming the towel in his hand onto the counter and walking back into the stockroom. He closed the door forcefully behind him.

I looked back at Spencer, confused, "I'm sorry, I don't know what has gotten into him."

He furrowed his eyebrows, "He is attracted to you. Judging by the look on his face, he's had feelings for you for a while."

I couldn't help the burst of laughter coming out of me, "Yea right."

The look on Spencer's face told me that he was certain of what he was saying, "No, I'm pretty sure I'm right."

"Well crap. What am I supposed to do about that?"

"I don't know," Spencer replied, going back to drinking his coffee. He walked over to a table in the corner and sat down. He pulled out a book to read, spending a long part of the afternoon in the coffee shop with me, feeding his never ending addiction to coffee and spending a ridiculous amount of money on it during the time he was there.

The rest of the afternoon was awkward, to say the least. Stephen only talked to me when it was necessary for work. I didn't push him to talk to me though, I'd had enough drama in the past few weeks to have me set for a while. I figured he'd come out of it and talk to me eventually.

At closing time, I turned on the alarm and closed the door behind us. We walked to our cars in an obvious silence, quietness looming over us like a dark cloud.

When I pulled out the key to my car, I heard him sign loudly, followed by a, "Kara."

I turned around to him, folding my arms close to me and looking at him over his car, "Yeah?"

"How-I don't understand why you would be attracted to…to him," he stated, walking over to my side of the car.

"Spencer?"

"Yes, Spencer. He's so goofy and awkward and seems way too smart for his own good." He came around to me, standing in front of me and running his hand through his hair.

"He's more than that, Stephen. Yes he's very intelligent and has a different sense of fashion, but he loves me. He's caring and kind hearted, open and honest. He loves literature and scary movies and appreciates my craziness. He, he grounds me," I stated, trying to explain this incredible thing that was Spencer and I.

Stephen pinched the bridge of his nose and stepped closer to me, "But you-you are so beautiful. The most gorgeous green eyes, soft blonde hair, this killer curvy body. You're fun and outgoing and confident. You need someone who compliments those things. Someone who is artsy, understanding, sees the music in your soul. Someone…like me," he said, closing the distance between us and placing one hand on my hip, the other in my hair. He leaned towards me, closing his eyes before I could realize what he was doing.

I turned my head away from him and shoved his chest with my hands, "Get off of me!"

He fell backwards against his car, "Come on, Kara. You can't really be that into him. You only like him because of his connection to the BAU."

"You are being ridiculous!" I exclaimed, unlocking the door to my car.

"He's the reason those crazy people kidnapped you! You said it was to get to a member of the BAU! I can't believe that ,Kara, that's crazy! You aren't safe with him."

"It's not his fault, Stephen! In fact, he's the one who saved me. I wouldn't be standing here if it weren't for him."

"Look, I'm sorry. I just want you to consider the possibilities. Give me a chance," I heard him say as I got into my car, closing the door behind me.

I scowled at him through my window, "You need to get a grip on reality, Stephen. We're just friends and you need to find a way to deal with that."

I pulled out of the parking lot, leaving him standing by his car, and went to Spencer's apartment.

Spencer opened the door of his apartment to let me in and I pushed past him, beginning to pace in his living room, "You were right, Spencer, so right."

"About what? Is everything okay?" he asked, following me into the room.

"Stephen does have feelings for me. He tried to kiss me!" I exclaimed, standing still and trying to gauge the look on Spencer's face.

That worried expression took over his face and he put his hands in his pockets, "Did you kiss him back?"

"Are you crazy?! No!" I exclaimed, my eyes wide and jaw dropping open.

Spencer tucked his hair behind his ears, fumbling for something to say, "Well that's good."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Work is going to be so awkward now."

"If you guys are good friends, I'm sure you will be able to talk about it and get things back to normal," he said, walking over to me and taking me into his arms.

I hugged him back, not wanting to break this embrace because I'd missed him so much during the week. I'd known what I was getting into when we started dating, that he'd be gone a lot. But it was worse than I thought. I pulled back enough to look up into his brown eyes. He leaned down to kiss me passionately, hands moving to cup my face. I wrapped my hands in his shirt, pulling him closer to me and letting myself get lost in his kiss.

He broke the kiss long enough to say, "Stay here with me and you can deal with that on Monday."

I nodded, rising back on my toes to kiss him again. He was right. Work problems could wait until Monday.


	8. 8: You Got Me A What

_The swat team stood with their guns pointed towards me, ordering me to freeze, put my hands up. I did freeze, pulling my hands up in front of me in surrender, feeling the sting of tears in my eyes. I lifted my right hand, pointing it at my head as a gun and making the firing sound as I cracked a slight smile. Suddenly, I felt myself reach for the gun under my pillow and felt the first bullet rip into me._

"Oh my god, no no no! Tate!"

"Josie, Josie!" I heard him exclaim, shaking me and trying to wake me from my dream.

I sat up in bed, grasping at his arms, trying to focus on him, see him sitting there with me, make sure he was okay. Make sure he was alive with me and that he was okay. He was there, worried look on his face, holding my face in his hands and whispering to me that everything was okay, that I was dreaming.

But even as he spoke to me, held me, took me in his arms as the sobs overtook me, I knew that he was gone. Knew that he was dead. Knew that he was not really okay. That he was gone from this world and that I couldn't save him from the past that had already happened.

* * *

Matthew was waiting at my locker when I got to school, much to my unapproval. I pushed past him to grab my books, ignoring the confused look on his face as I walked off.

"Hey," he exclaimed, jogging to catch up with me and falling into step beside me.

I answered, "Hey."

"So, um, I really enjoyed our time together last night."

I didn't answer him, just continued to stare at the floor of the school.

"Are you okay?" he asked, grabbing my arm and making me look at him.

I nodded, jerking my arm away from him and fighting back the tears in my eyes, the memories that had plagued me from when I awoke. Memories that were not my own but kept coming to me. Reminding me of the pain and suffering that Tate had when he died, when he lived and was miserable. When he was high and uncontrollable. Shot dead in his own home, in my very bedroom.

I shook my head, trying to clear the thoughts from my brain and bring myself to the present moment. _You're Josie Summers. You are walking the hallways at your school. Westfield High._

That wasn't helping.

"You don't look okay," Matthew said and took my hand, leading me to our classroom.

I didn't have the strength to object to his hand in mine, to tell him I didn't need his help or consolation. Because really I did. I needed someone real there to ground me, keep me in the moment. Help me to stay out of those terrible nightmares. He let go of my hand as I sat down in class, the teacher coming in and lecturing to us.

I laid my head down on my desk, exhausted, drained, and fell asleep.

_Whack._

I jerked up, fear gripping at me as I took in my surroundings. My history teacher stood over me, long pointer in his hand that the used to show things on the PowerPoint. He must have slapped it across my desk, startling me to wake. I'd never fell asleep in class before, no matter how tired I was.

At least I'd gotten to sleep for a few minutes. Gotten to escape the nightmares.

"Miss Summers, are you going to stay with us in the land of the living or are you going to go back to dreamland?"

_That's the question of the year isn't it… _"No, I'm good, sorry," I said, apologizing and slouching back in my seat.

"Okay then," he said, going back into his lengthy speech about…something, and walking away from me.

I leaned back in my seat, letting my head roll back and stare up at the ceiling. I let out a long sigh and began counting the tiles above me, doing something, anything to keep me awake until the bell could ring.

Finally it did and I jumped up, grabbed my books, and ran from the classroom.

"Are you sure you are okay?" Matthew asked me in the lunch line later that day.

I continued on in front of him, glancing over the food and seeing absolutely nothing that appetized me, "Yeah, I'm good."

"You don't look good. Since when do you pass over chocolate cake?" he asked, taking a piece from himself at the end of the line.

I just shrugged and handed the lunch lady my money. She objected, pointing out that my tray was empty but I just walked on, ignoring her in my daze. Matthew paid, I'm sure, and followed behind me, "Josie!"

_All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better run better run, outrun my gun. _

I scowled, hearing the catchy tune playing from the right of me. I turned my head, seeing several of the preppy kids dancing around to the song as it played on their iPod on their table. I dropped my tray, hearing it clank on the floor as my feet continued to walk. It was horrible. Didn't they know what that song was about!? Awful. I couldn't stand it.

_All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better run better run, faster than my bullet._

I could hear Matthew objecting behind me as I turned in the direction of the music, walking over to the table and grabbing the device off the flat surface. I turned it in my hand, glaring at it as it sang…

_All the other kids with the pumped up kicks…_

I threw it against the wall of the cafeteria, walking over to where it landed and stomping on it with my foot, unintelligible screams coming out of my mouth over and over until I felt a pair of hands around me.

"Josie, it's okay."

"No no no no no!" I exclaimed, struggling to free myself form the arms that encircled me, pulling me to them. He didn't understand. None of them understood. Things were most certainly not okay.

"Shhh, it's okay."

"It's not okay! It's never going to be okay!" I insisted, bucking against the firm grip of the slim arms around me before sinking to the ground, tears streaming down my face as I buried myself into Matthew's flannel shirt, sobs gripping at me as the whole room watched.

I could hear them whispering, laughing at me as I broke down, happy to see the new girl breaking down in front of the whole school. Losing that fearless image that I'd fought so hard to create. Losing the carefree attitude that I'd tried to maintain since I'd been there. Losing myself as my eyes grew dim, the light closing in around me as everything went dark.

* * *

"I'm really worried about your daughter, Mr. Summers," I heard the school counselor say.

I didn't open my eyes yet, wanting to take in my surroundings before I did so for fear of what I'd find. I was laying down, my face resting on a soft pillow but my body uncomfortable against the hard plastic of what had to be the couch in the counseling center.

"Why's that?" I heard my father respond, a slight twinge of concern in his voice.

The counselor sighed, "Well, Mr. Summers. She fell asleep in class today, didn't eat lunch, and smashed a peer's iPod. Your daughter isn't the most social kid in school, but she never causes any trouble. All these things happened in one day. One of our faculty found her curled up in a ball of the cafeteria with a friend, crying her eyes out before she passed out."

"Oh," he said.

_Oh? That's all I get?_

"How are things at home? Are you two getting along?"

"Yes, we get along fine," my father growled, obviously appalled by her insinuations.

"I know starting a new school can be difficult."

"It is."

"Especially after losing her mother."

"I don't think we need to bring her mother into this," he insisted.

The counselor paused, "I think you should go ahead and take her home. Maybe having the afternoon off will help her recoup. She will still have to do her work from today but it might help."

"Maybe your shitty teachers did something to upset her," my father hissed, completely out of character.

"Mr. Summers, you need to calm down," she responded, keeping her voice level, "Maybe tomorrow you can bring her back and you will both be back to normal."

I opened my eyes, taking in my father sitting across the desk from the petite blonde lady behind the desk. Her glasses were perched on the end of her nose, her eyes moving to me as I sat up, "Hey Josie, how are you feeling?"

"Better," I said quietly, remembering my flip out and the blush rising in my cheeks_. Oh how embarrassing._

"Do you care if I talk to her for a few minutes?" she asked.

My father nodded, not even looking at me, and walked out the door.

She turned those big blue eyes to me, "So tell me about what happened."

_My boyfriend's a school shooter and died. _"I dunno."

"Now, Josie, you know what is said in here is confidential."

I sat up and pulled my legs into me, resting my chin on them, "I know."

She was quiet, looking at me, watching me. Giving me the opportunity to respond, but I didn't want to talk about myself.

"Do you remember Tate Langdon?"

"Yes," she said, a slight bit of concern flickering through her eyes.

"What was he like?"

She took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose, "He was a quiet boy, ran track for a while. He was into that 90s grudge music and the other kids made fun of him a lot."

I felt a stabbing at my heart as I listened to her, sadness creeping over me at her description, "Did he ever come and see you?"

"I encouraged him to, and he did sometimes. But he just sat there, staring at me and talking about other students. Much like you are doing Miss Summers," she said, replacing her glasses and looking at me through them.

Silence.

"Is that what's got you so upset?"

More silence. I didn't want to share my feelings with her. Didn't want to share my concerns. She'd lock me away if I started telling ghost stories.

So I sat there

And so did she.

I glanced up at the clock, seeing the small hand reaching out to signal that it was 12 PM, school was mostly over. I wasn't sure how long she could, or intended to keep me here.

"He ended up doing some terrible things here," she said as I returned my gaze to her.

"I know."

"Josie, I know you've been through a lot of things over the past few months and that can add a lot of stress on an already emotional teenager…if you are having thoughts of hurting someone else…"

"I'm not going to shoot up the school, don't worry," I said, not letting her finish that thought, "I've just been reading up on the history of the town and I've been having nightmares about that."

"I see," she said, not completely convinced.

I pulled myself up from the couch, "Look, if I start having homicidal thoughts I promise I will come straight here."

"Josie-" I could hear her say as I walked out the door and shut it behind me.

My father signed me out of school and walked me out to the car not saying anything.

Once we started down the road, he spoke, "So tell me what's going on."

"I'm just stressed is all."

"You've been spending a lot of time in your bedroom or that creepy basement. That's not like you."

I shrugged.

"Your brother misses you coming home to play with him every day."

"We play."

"Not as much as you use to," he maintained.

"You're acting different too."

"How so."

I glared at him from the side of my eyes, "Well for starters, you have completely forgot that I'm supposed to be grounded. You've been letting me run around with boys alone, and you brought that skanky woman into our house."

"You're almost an adult, I just figured I should start letting you make your own decisions. And that 'skanky woman' has a very big heart."

"I'm sure she does," I mumbled.

"I don't appreciate your latent disrespect. If you are so miserable here then we can find another place to live."

I jerked my head up, "No."

"I know you hate this house. You hate that school. You've made it apparent that you didn't want to be here in the first place. Maybe if we moved back home you'd be happier."

"No, I've changed my mind."

"After this scene at school, I don't know that you will have the choice."

We pulled into the house and I hoped out of the car, walking quickly in front of him with my bag slung over my shoulder. I crossed my arms and turned away from him as he unlocked the door to let us in. He tried to talk to me as we walked inside but I just kept going, not stopping until I got to my room. I locked the door behind me and leaned against it, letting out a long sigh.

I walked into the open space, hoping to see Tate to tell him about the crazy day that I'd had but found myself alone. I sat down on my bed, dropping my bag onto the floor and sighing again.

My dad was wanting to move out of the house. He was right, when we first moved here I hated it, didn't want to be here. I didn't want to make friends. I didn't want to go to that school. Actually, I'd started plotting to find a way to get him to agree to move out of the house. He'd been so in love with it though, but his kids had always come first. I guess even though he'd been acting different, that hadn't changed.

I worked on my homework for a while, finishing up my history and math before deciding to go grab a snack. I walked out of my bedroom and down the hallway, freezing in my spot when I heard heels walking across the floor below me. Moira didn't wear heels so it had to be someone else. Someone I didn't know.

I reached the top of the stairs just in time to see Tate's mother in my house.

_That stupid bitch, _I thought as I leaned over the railing and saw her going into the basement. Tiptoeing down the stairs, I followed behind her, far enough away where she couldn't hear me but close enough where I could see what she was doing. We were going to have to get our locks changed. It was bad enough that her daughter kept sneaking in here, but she was innocent, playing games with my brother and talking to me at times. I knew this mother was a bad person, psychotic I was sure.

"Sweetie?" she asked into the darkness, "Mommie needs to talk to you."

"Then talk," Tate said, not hiding the fact that he was less than happy to see her. He came out of the shadows, face empty of emotion.

"That girl, Josie. I know you care about her but please tell me you haven't been sleeping with her."

"That's none of your business."

She slapped him hard once, across the face, his head jerking in an unnatural way and tears forming in his eyes, "What is wrong with you!?"

My breath caught in my throat as he lowered his gaze to the floor. I was expecting him to hit her back, let out the monster in him, but instead he backed away from her into the corner of the room. I'd never seen him scared for himself like that before, and it pained me to see him cowering in the corner as she approached him.

"Bad things could happen if you continue to have sex with her!"

"Just leave, please," he begged.

She began to hit him, over and over, slapping him in the face and the head and screaming at him. And he took it, throwing his hands up to protect himself and crying, one word leaving his mouth with each hit: Mama.

I felt myself moving down the stairs and across the room before I could think of what I was doing, "Stop hitting him!"

She paused, turning to look at me and throwing her hand over her mouth, "Oh my god."

I grabbed her by the arms and pulled her to me, "If you ever lay a hand on him again, it's not going to end well for you."

"You don't need to tell me how to parent my child."

I pushed her back against the wall, hearing the breath leave her as she smacked against it, "Get out of my house or I'm calling the police."

She looked over at Tate, opening her mouth to say something.

I stepped in front of him, blocking him from her view, "Don't you even talk to him."

I saw her gaze falter under my hard stare, walking over to the back door and leaving. Once she was gone, I turned around and dropped to the floor. He had his head buried in his arms and on top of his knees, sobbing. I reached up and brushed the hair on his forehead, "It's okay, Tate. It's okay."

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him to me, continuing to reassure him until I could feel his body stop shaking.

He pulled back from me, wiping his face with the arm of his sweater and standing up. He ran his hands through his hair, "I wish you wouldn't have seen that."

"I can't believe she hit you! What the hell is wrong with her?"

"She's crazy, Josie. You need to stay away from her. Don't piss her off, she's dangerous."

I walked over him, wrapping my arms around his waist, "I'm not scared of her."

"Maybe you should be," he whispered, lowering his mouth to mine and kissing me. He stepped back from me, and told me that he needed to take care of some things. I nodded, starting to tell him that everything was going to be okay, but he vanished into thin air. It was the first time I'd actually witnessed it, him usually preferring to do it when my back was turned. It was the weirdest thing, him being there one second and gone the next, my mind swearing that it didn't happen, that I was seeing things. I reminded myself that he was dead, he could do that sort of thing.

I checked the door, making sure it was locked, and headed upstairs. I walked into the kitchen, seeing Moira wiping down the counters.

"Hello, madam," she said as I walked into the room.

"Hey," I replied, opening up the refrigerator and examining the contents.

"Do you want me to warm you some soup? It always makes me feel better when I've had a bad day."

"Sure," I said, closing the door and taking a seat on one of the bar seats beside the island in the center of the kitchen.

She moved about, pulling the ingredients out and started to work. I watched her do so, trying to memorize the steps so I could try to recreate it later.

"Your father told me what happened before he went back to work," she explained, eyeing me over her shoulder.

"Yeah, well, shit happens,"

"May I speak freely, Josie?"

"Yeah I guess."

She put the large spoon down on the counter and turned to me, "I really enjoy having you and your family here in this house. But I worry that something is going to happen to one of you. This house…people don't survive inside of it long. It takes everyone, from the young up to the old and Tate, well, he's an emotional young man. He's capable of anything."

"He wouldn't hurt me."

"Maybe not on purpose, but that wouldn't stop him from snapping and losing control like he did when he was alive."

I took a minute to consider her words, remembering the talk that I'd had with Mandie and how concerned she'd been for me. They were both right, he wasn't completely sane. There was something in him that was evil, something that killed those people and made him stay here in this house to haunt it. I knew that, but there was also something good there. Something that made me happy when I was around him, made that stupid smile creep up onto my face when he was around. Something that convinced me that he wouldn't hurt me, every time someone else said he would.

I shook my head, "I don't want to hear it."

"I just want you to understand that he's not the only one here in this house. There are others that could be even more dangerous. He and I can only watch out for you so much."

"I appreciate your concern, Moira, thank you."

I could see the worry cross over her face and she picked up the bowl and handed it to me, "Here sweetie, I hope you like it."

"Thank you."

I sat in silence as I ate the soup, feeling a lot better once it was finished. I stood up to leave the room, nodding at Moira as I passed her. She was cleaning up the last part of her mess, but she stopped to address me, "Josie?"

"Yeah?"

"If you find yourself intimate with Tate again, just please be careful okay?"

"Yeah, sure," I replied, continuing out the door to avoid the topic going further.

I found myself in my room soon after, making my way through the stack of papers that loomed before me, feeling defeated before I even began.

"Uggggg," I growled and laid my head down on the desk. My history homework stared back at me. It was so boring and awful and I just couldn't stand it anymore, "Someone murder me please."

I pulled myself up from the hard wood, leaning back in my chair and stretching my arms. This was going to be a long night. I didn't really give a shit about what happened in the early 1900s and I didn't want to write this stupid paper. A small movement at the edge of my short plaid boxers made me jump, swatting at what I assumed was a fly landing on me.

_Gross._

I pulled out my laptop and pushed the on button, hoping typing would make the paper come out faster. That stupid school should give me break. Making me make up the work I missed because I'd had an emotional breakdown didn't make me feel like they really cared. I pulled up my document writer and began to type.

That's when I felt the feeling on my thigh again, cold as it trailed upwards and underneath my shorts, caressing the skin underneath the soft fabric. It moved higher, resting on my most private parts and stroking me there. I closed my eyes, biting my lip to hold back the intense sensations taking me over. When I could finally pry my eyes open, I looked downwards, seeing nothing there, but still feeling this fantastic movement underneath my boxers. Touching me, making me limp in the chair and forget about my homework.

"Tate," I whispered, running my hand through my black hair and leaning back in the seat. I felt the fabric of my shorts sliding down my thighs and I lifted myself up, allowing them to be trailed down to the ground, the soft caress climbing up my leg again. I moaned, letting the cold feeling take me over, the hair on my neck standing up as I closed my eyes and let this pleasure take me over. My breath accelerated as I felt a familiar wetness against me, teasing and moving in quick circles. I fluttered my eyes open softly, seeing now the black eyes gazing up at me, the pale hands gripping my thighs as he peered at me.

"That feels amazing."

"Mmmmmm," he replied, mouth on me, sending me out of control as I spasmed around him, my hands going down to grab a handful of his blonde waves.

He was driving me crazy, but helping me forget about this horrible day. Forget that I'd lost it at school. Losing myself in Tate, knowing that it was a safe place to be. Knowing that he wouldn't let anything happen to me.

"Shit, Tate," I said again, trying to pull him up to me but feeling him struggle to keep the grasp on my legs until I lost control of my body, shuddering under him and crying out his name.

He rose up on his knees, pushing me and the chair back and onto the floor as he fumbled for the zipper on his pants. He crawled up over me, wrapping his hands in my hair and forcing me back away from the chair.

"Are you scared of me?"

"No," I breathed.

"Tell me yes," he growled, sending chills down my body as he pressed that long length onto me.

"Uhhh, Tate," I moaned, not being able to comprehend the urgency coming from me as he loomed over me.

He stood up, picking me up in one swift scoop and carrying me over to me bed. He tossed me down on to my stomach, pulling me back by the ankle until I was pressed against him. He grabbed my hair and encouraged me back up against the front of him, molding my body along his. He kissed my shoulder, back onto my neck and down the top of my spine, nibbling, pulling at things lower in my body and making me squirm under him.

He gave my hair a sharp tug, "Josie, please."

"Okay, Tate, I'm terrified please just fuck me," I begged, not caring if I sounded like an idiot, wanting to give in to him, and moving back against him and rubbing myself along him.

I heard him give an excited laugh as he grasped my hips and pushed himself into me, causing me to cry out his name underneath him. He pushed my face down on the bed, moving fast and desperate above me, cold skin working against mine. He lowered his face down to my neck, biting the skin there, sucking at him, taking it into his body as I quivered under him. I closed my eyes, losing myself in Tate, letting him rule my body as his breath came in fast sweeps, calling my name and giving one last plunge before he pulled back.

"Don't stop now," I begged, turning over to look up at him and wrapping my legs around him.

He looked down at me, pain crossing over his eyes, "I don't want to hurt you, Josie, god. We need to stop. I can't…uggghgngng"

He moaned, closing his eyes as I grabbed him with my hand, pressing myself to him and feeling him grow hard again under my grasp. I wasn't done. I needed this. I didn't care how much it cost me. Cost him. In this moment, it was just him and me, his blonde hair wet against his forehead as he looked down at me, fighting to take control of the situation. I could smell the sex on his skin as I ran my hands along his shoulders, pulling myself up to lick his collarbone, bite him there.

He shook his head, trying to clear the dirty thoughts from his mind I was sure, "Josie, really. We need to take a break."

I grabbed his hair, pulling him down towards me and pressing his mouth to me, "Don't make me beg, Tate."

I could hear him fighting with himself, arguing as he pulled away from me, getting up off the bed and walking across the room. His pants were threatening to drop away from his body, cringing at his knees as he struggled to keep them up. He ran his hand through his hair, shaking his head and cursing out loud.

Standing up from the bed, I didn't care what I had to do to get him back onto the bed with him. I knew he liked to be in control, liked to see me desperate and needy in his hands. It didn't take me long to figure out what I needed to do. I grabbed one of my dark ribbons and wrapped it around my wrists, walking over to him and moaning his name, placing the material into his hand before falling to my knees.

I could see the indecision cross his face as he looked down at me. Longing to give in to the darkness in him but fighting to remain in control, not wanting to hurt me. I grabbed his calves, kissing the skin there and moving up his thigh, hearing his breath coming in short fast spurts through his sexy lips. I ran my hand up him, enfolding my fingers around him and moving back and forth. I wanted to be whatever he needed. Anything to erase that part of him that was regretful, sad, confused.

"Shit, Josie, are you trying to drive me crazy."

I smiled, letting go of him and finding his hand, giving the ribbon a slight pull and gasping out for him. He moaned, pushing me back onto the hard floor and lowering his body to mine, not bothering to arouse me further as he slammed into me, a loud "Tate," coming from my mouth and echoing throughout my room.

The iPod turned up louder, drowning out my screams as he grasped the slick material, pulling my hands up over my head and driving into me over and over until I couldn't stand it anymore, crying out his name and asking him if maybe we should stop. He was starting to scare me.

But he didn't.

He continued to move against me, ribbon tight in his hand as he drove in and out of me. His eyes grew dark above me, that frightening glare taking over his face as he moved against me. Hard and emotionless. I pushed at him, trying to snap him out of it, but he grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him.

"I'm dangerous, don't you see," he gasped, eyes rolling back in his head and closing as he screamed my name, "I don't want to. Ugggggg. God, Josie. Stop, get out of my head! Ugggh."

I closed my eyes, fighting the pulsating feeling between my legs as he let go of the ribbon and pulled my arms around him. I was burning under his touch, turned on more than I could stand, confused by his words, but not caring as the pleasure rode over me again, gripping both of us and making us scream out and fall to the floor.

The heaviness of him drifted over me. I could feel him sigh, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I insisted, trying to pull myself out from under him, beginning to freak out over his loss of control.

He looked down at me, reaching up to run a gentle finger along my chest, "God, did I do this to you?"

He must he discovered that hard line of hickeys going down my skin that Mandie had seen earlier.

I nodded, unsure if wanted him to know. He hadn't hurt me. Not really. It looked worse than it had felt. But he was pulling away, removing himself from me and walking across the room.

"Shit, Josie. This can't happen again," he said.

"Don't mess this up, please," I begged, fighting my legs to get up and cross the room to him. My legs felt like Jell-O, making each step a struggle until I reached him, falling onto him and pushing him against the wall.

"I love you, I don't want to hurt you," he said, pushing a stray strand of hair away from my face, "I loose myself sometimes."

"You haven't hurt me," I said, meeting his eyes and trying to make him understand.

I crawled back up on to the bed, his cold hand in mine, and pulled him up on to it with me.

"Lock the door," I ordered.

The quick click of the door showed me that he complied, falling down onto the mattress with me, "Are you sure you are okay?"

"I'm fine," I said, cuddling up with him and falling asleep to the feel of him against my back, the cold making the hair on my body stand up. He tucked me under the covers, planting kisses in my hair until I passed out.


	9. 9: There's Something Else

I ended up sleeping in way later than I wanted to that Sunday morning, waking up to Spencer sitting on the bed beside me with the television on. He was watching something that didn't look familiar to me.

"What's that?" I asked, pulling myself up into a sitting position and rubbing my eyes.

"Star Trek," he responded, not taking his eyes off the television.

"Ewww," I moaned, "I'm going back to bed."

Spencer turned his head to look at me, "We can watch something else if you like. Something with more blood and guts like you are into."

I felt my stomach flip, "Please don't talk about guts right now…"

"Are you still nauseous?"

"Yes…this is ridiculous, Spencer. I have to go back to work tomorrow and I feel awful."

"Morning sickness can be caused by several different things, an increase in the circulation of estrogen, low blood sugar, sensitivity to odors, increase in bilirubin levels-"

My stomach flipped again, threatening to spill its contents, "Spencer, please. I don't' want to talk about it. It's just making it worse."

"If it makes you feel any better only 1 to 10 percent of pregnancies continue on past 20 weeks with morning sickness."

"So basically I'm going to be sick forever," I stated, pulling myself out of bed and excusing myself, Spencer following me to the bathroom, spouting statistics.

When I reached the bathroom door, I tried to shut it behind me, but Spencer followed me inside.

I turned around to him, unable to hide the smile from my face. He was continuing to talk, the most serious look on his face.

I raised myself up on my toes and planted small kiss on his lips, "Hey, what did you say helps ease the morning sickness?"

"As far as foods go, crackers, anything with ginger in it, tea, pretzels."

"Why don't you get me some of that?" I asked.

"Which one? There's several different things that I could get."

"Whatever you want, just surprise me," I smiled, pushing him towards the door.

He nodded, leaving me in the bathroom and going downstairs to fix me some food.

_Oh goodness, _I thought, splashing water on my face to try and wake up. It was one in the afternoon and I wanted to be able to spend as much time with Spencer as I could before he went back to work on Tuesday. I took a few private moments in the bathroom, relishing the silence, not so sure why I was so irritated. When I was done, I started to head down stairs, not watching where I was going, and almost running over Spencer who was coming up the stairs. I was able to stop myself before I sent us both falling down the stairs. I didn't, however, stop before I knocked the coffee mug and plate of crackers out of his hands.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed, bending over to help him pick up the mess.

"It's okay, I needed to back downstairs for your tea anyway," he said, "I'm going to get some napkins." He went back downstairs as I tried to pick up all of the crumbs off the floor, his coffee soaking into the carpet, the ridiculous amount of sugar he added in a small heap on the floor as well. The overwhelming smell of the liquid pushed its way up my nose, gagging me as I tried to clean what I could. I pinched my nose, sitting back and away from the mess as he came up the stairs. Still, the strong scent drifted to me, making my nausea flair up even more.

Spencer bent down and started cleaning up the coffee, "Are you okay?"

I shook my head fast, feeling the bile rise in my throat. I got up and ran into the bathroom, throwing up my dinner from last night. When I got done, I sat back on my heels, trying to wipe at my mouth with nearby toilet paper.

"Here," I heard Spencer say, handing me a warm washcloth.

"You're an angel," I replied, cleaning myself up.

"How are you feeling?"

"Somewhat better actually," I replied, taking note of the fading nausea.

Spencer reached out his hand, offering to help me up, "I was thinking, it might be fun to go out on a picnic this afternoon. Since you are feeling better, maybe you would be up to it?"

"Sure, that sounds like fun," I replied, "Just let me get cleaned up first."

Spencer nodded, kissing the top of my head and exiting the bathroom so I could get ready.

An hour later we hopped into Spencer's old car and drove down to the park. Once there, Spencer pulled out a blanket and bag from the trunk and took my hand, leading me through the park and down to the lake. He spread the blanket out on the ground and sat down, encouraging me to do the same. I sat down beside him and watched him pull the contents out of his bag. Two water bottles, sandwiches, chips, and brownies. I wasn't sure how much I was going to eat but somehow I was starving.

"You did good, Spence!" I exclaimed, reaching for a brownie.

He grabbed my hand with his, smiling, "Maybe you should start small. Something less filling." He moved my hand over to the sandwich.

"Okay, doctor," I stated, picking up a sandwich and taking a bite. _Peanut butter and jelly, my favorite._

Spencer looked at me with a concerned look on his face, "How are you feeling?"

I paused, monitoring my body and replying, "I'm fine. Excited that I can eat this stuff and not get sick!"

"That's great," he replied, "It's important that you continue to eat, ya know, for the baby."

"Yea, I know," I stated, "So…what do you think about all this?"

"The pregnancy?"

I nodded.

"That's something that I wanted to ask you about actually. How do you feel about it?"

I took another bite of my sandwich, giving myself a moment to think, "Well, I'm mostly worried about finishing school and my career. Having a baby kinda puts a dent in my plans, ya know."

Spencer nodded, reaching for my hand, "You can probably take online classes in the spring so you can stay home, rest, de-deliver the baby."

"That's kind of what I was thinking. And then I can just go back to the coffee shop when my pregnancy leave is over and hope I can find some sort of job with my degree. Maybe something a little less dangerous than FBI, profiler, super spy…Something where I can be home by 5 and raise a kid."

"You won't be alone in this," Spencer stated, "I will be there as much as I can. Maybe I can transfer to a different department."

"No, you don't have to do that, Spence. The BAU needs you and you do a fantastic job. I don't want to take that away from you."

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows in worry, "But I've seen what kind of toll these long hours take on a family. Hotch's wife couldn't deal with it and they ended up getting a divorce…I don't think I could forgive myself if I messed this up because of my job."

"Hey, give me some credit. I knew what I was getting into when we first met. I've spent the last month and a half dealing with you being gone a lot and it's okay. I'm not going to make you quit doing your job. I'm not going to be that selfish. You can be here when you can and I will manage."

"But will he?" Spencer asked, brown eyes searching my face.

"She," I corrected, snatching a brownie and shoving it in my mouth.

Spencer laughed, "We will see."

After a few minutes in silence, Spencer cleared his throat, getting that serious look on his face, "There's something else we need to address."

"What's that."

"Well," he started, looking away from my eyes and fumbling around for his words, "usually, when one becomes pregnant it's in the context of marriage. But in our case, it's not and that's okay but I was wondering if, um…I got you something."

I froze at the word 'marriage', realizing that my fear of being hurt wasn't completely gone. Pregnancy I could deal with, the little black box he pulled out of his pocket, I wasn't so sure about.

"Spencer," I stated, warning him that I wasn't really sure what was going on at the moment.

"It's, um, well, it's not what you think," he explained, popping open the lid and revealing a bronze key on the inside, "It's a key to my apartment. I thought that you could move in with me, or, you could at least, you know, consider it your second home? For now?"

His eyes searched my face for an answer but I wasn't able to form a coherent thought. Everything was moving so fast. Moving in together? That hadn't exactly worked in my favor before. Although Spencer was different, the problems didn't start until you moved in together.

"Kara, say something," he pleaded, taking my hands in his.

"I love you Spencer. I don't think that's a question. I-I definitely don't think we need to rush into marriage. That's a serious thing and it, it scares me to death honestly. Moving in together, well, I don't know about that either. That's when you really find out if you can stand someone, if you could really live with them _forever_. That's a long time…"

"So you don't want it?" he asked, smile fading from his face.

"I didn't say that…It's not that I don't want... I just need some time to think that's all," I explained, stumbling over my words, trying not to hurt him. "I don't want to hurt you. I love you, please understand that."

"I know you've had a bad situation in the past but I promise you that I won't hurt you and I will do everything in my power to make sure that you, and our baby, stay safe. I don't know how much I can keep that promise if we have separate living arrangements."

"Can I just have time to think about it?" I asked, pulling back from him and hugging my arms to myself.

"Of course, take all the time you need," he replied, beginning to pack up the contents of our picnic and placing it back into the bag. I helped him, both of us remaining silent until he pulled into my driveway.

I reached for the handle of his car, turning to look at him back over my shoulder, "Can I call you? Later?"

"I'll be waiting," he stated, nodding and leaning over to plant a kiss on my cheek. I stepped out of the car and walked up the steps to my door, waving at him as he pulled off, wondering what the crap was wrong with me.

I took a two hour nap when I got inside, burying my head in the pillows and trying not to think about the conversation we had just had. When I woke up, I turned up the music on my IPod, singing at the top of my lungs to my favorite songs, and getting it out of my system. Music was my escape when things were hard, allowing me to lose myself in the lyrics and focus only on the lyrics and sound of the instruments flowing from my speakers.

I felt a lot better about things afterwards, feeling like things were straightened out in my head somehow. I called Spencer, asking him to grab some pizza and come over so we could watch fireworks in my back yard. It was always the perfect place to see them, private and peaceful behind my tall wooden fence.

He arrived right at dark, carrying in pizza and siting it down on the counter, "Hope you like peperoni."

"Love it," I said, stepping over to him and wrapping my arms around his neck, "Listen, I'm sorry I freaked on you earlier. I'm just not really comfortable with commitment. Obviously."

He looked down at me, putting his hands on my waist, "Having a baby is a commitment too."

"I know. It's just that, moving in together, marriage, it's different to me. I don't know how to explain it," I said, pulling away and grabbing plates and napkins out of the cabinet. I grabbed us a couple of drinks out of the refrigerator, water for me and coke for him.

He picked up the pizza, following me into the hallway and towards the back door, "So what do you think we should do?"

I opened the door of the hallway closet, pulling out two big blankets and dragging them behind us out the door, "Can you grab those pillows on the top shelf?"

He nodded, retrieving the pillows and following behind me.

We went out onto my back lawn, spreading the blanket out in the middle of it. As we sat down and spread out the food, I answered his question, "Well, I've thought about it and I agree with you. There needs to be some kind of plan for what needs to happen. I was thinking that for now, I could accept your offer and keep the key to your apartment and we could start testing the waters? If things go well, we could move in together. I just don't think your apartment is big enough. It's only one bedroom, and we'd probably need two."

I watched as the smile spread over his face, bringing a joy to my heart to be able to make him happy, "I'm so happy to hear you say that, Kara. You make a good point about needing a bigger place to live, but I will be happy with us 'testing the waters' as you put it. We can move on as you feel comfortable."

I took his hands in mine, smiling up at him, "Thank you for understanding. I love you."

"I love you too," he replied, leaning over to kiss me softly on the lips.

"So, you are going to love the view from here. The fireworks are so beautiful! We have the perfect view and there is no one else around," I explained, hearing the loud boom of the first fireworks going off. I pointed up into the sky over us, "See!"

Spencer's eyes followed my finger, mouth open in awe as the fireworks exploded in the air, "That's wonderful."

We sat there, eating our pizza and watching the fireworks. I finished my pieces, scooting closer to Spencer and laying my head over on his shoulder. He finished his pizza, moving the box and plates off the blanket and onto the grass beside it.

"You don't know how incredibly happy I am right now," he stated, turning his head to me and caressing the side of my face with the back of his knuckles.

"I think I have an idea," I replied, reaching up to tuck his hair behind his ear.

He cupped my chin in his hand and leaned into kiss me, sweetly and softly, moving his other hand up to the back of my head, cradling it in his long fingers. I felt him turn his body towards me, wrapping me in his arms as he continued to kiss me. I kissed him back, trying to meet him where he was, passion erupting between us as our kisses grew more intense, butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I felt him gently laying me back onto the blanket, supporting my body with his arms, following me down into a laying position but keeping himself propped up off my body. He pulled the blanket over on top of us, covering us with it. I ran my fingers through his hair, whispering "I love you, Spencer" as he moved his kisses down my neck, whispering words as he laid kisses along the skin there to my chest, my shoulders. As he moved back up to my ears, I confirmed that he was reciting poetry to me. I recognized Lord John Wilmot's erotic poetry, his whispers in my ear sending chills down my spine.

"I filled with love, and she all over charms;  
Both equally inspired with eager fire,  
Melting through kindness, flaming in desire.  
With arms, legs, lips close clinging to embrace"

His voice was low, almost inaudible due to the fireworks continuing to go off overhead. It was incredibly sexy, the way he continued to run his mouth along my skin, the breath from his mouth marking me with the words he spoke. I was breathless, unable to do anything but bite my lip in anticipation.

He skimmed down my shirt, my hands still tangled in his hair. He lifted the bottom of my shirt upwards on my body, running his fingers slightly over my skin. He paused, a confused look coming over his face and pulled back from me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, panting almost, and raised up on my elbows to meet his eyes.

"Maybe this was a bad idea. It's like there's three of us here," he said, running his hand over my stomach.

_Oh._

"Spencer, please don't think about that now. I will be showing soon enough and we need to enjoy this before it really is awkward."

He ran his tongue against his lips, drawing them into his mouth and thinking. "I- I just want to make love to you," he said, brown eyes moving up to mine and drowning me in them.

"Then make love to me," I whispered.

Spencer ran his hand over my stomach once more, the expression on his face going from one of concern to one of lust and passion and love all intertwined in one. He reached for my shirt again, pulling it up over my body and over my head. He leaned back down to kiss me, full of emotion, caressing my body with his hands. I moved my hands to the front of his shirt, unbuttoning it slowly, slipping it down his shoulders and revealing his naked skin underneath. I pulled myself up to him, planting kisses down his long neck to his shoulders, gently running my fingers along his spine.

God, I loved this man. He was so smart, but never keeping it to himself, sharing his intelligence with those around him, pulling them into his thoughts whether they liked it or not. He was so caring, texting me daily to remind me of his love for me, checking in to make sure I was okay, spending time with me when we should both be sleeping. Running his hands through my hair, as if it were the finest silk on earth, taking care to pay attention to each and every part of my body with his touch, his lips, his breathe. He was beautiful, in his own way, innocent in the way his hair fell across his face as we undressed each other, kissing me sweetly, not as desperately as we'd been in the past. It was as if all our concerns were gone, only the Spencer and I letting our emotions take over, no worries in either of our minds. I tried my best to take it slow, not wanting to rush this very intimate, very passionate and loving experience that I found myself in. I felt safe in his arms, the world melting away from me as we continued to get lost in one another. In that moment, the two of us was all that there was, fireworks exploding in the distance, the sound of our breathing and his occasional whispers the only things audible here in this place with us.

We cuddled up in the blankets afterward, gazing up at the stars, neither of us saying a word. The fireworks had long stopped before we found ourselves laying there. It was quiet except for the pounding of our hearts, the racing of our pulse, still trying to catch our breath. Spencer continued to caress me gently, running his fingers through my hair. I ran my finger up and down his chest, tracing the outlines of the skin there, trying not to fall asleep in his arms.

He was the first to break the silence, "Kara, we should probably go inside before it gets too late. You have to go back to work tomorrow."

I yawned in response, allowing myself to sit up with him, "We gotta clean this up."

"You go on to bed and I will take care of this," he stated, wrapping the blanket around me and pulling me to my feet. He put his arms around me, kissing me softly on the lips. Taking my hand in his, he led me up to my bedroom, dropping me off and going back downstairs. I laid down in bed, covering myself up with the blankets and drifted off to sleep.

Spencer woke me up the next morning, insisting that I get up for work. I tried to get him to let me stay home with him but he would not be persuaded. So I got up, went into work, and tried not to let the strong smell of coffee get to me while I was there.

I spent most of the day at the cash register, asking Stephen to take care of the coffee making so I could have some distance. The morning sickness wasn't too bad that day, thankfully, and I was able to work a full shift. Spencer stopped by at lunch time, eating with me in the lobby, laughing when I fed him part of my cupcake. Giving me an unappreciative and somewhat embarrassed look when I licked the icing off his finger.

I glanced over at the counter, catching Stephen watching us, his eyebrows drawn together in an upset expression. My laughter faded at the sight, feeling somewhat guilty for being the cause of that look on his face.

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked, drawing my attention back to him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. We're just getting weird looks from Stephen."

"Do you want me to say something to him?"

"No, just ignore him," I said, taking a sip of my water.

Spencer nodded, "Okay. So what are we going to do tonight?"

"I was thinking we could move some of my things over to your place?"

His eyes lit up, "That sounds like a wonderful idea."

And that's what we did after I got off work. He met me at my place and I packed up some of my things, taking them to Spencer's home and placing them in some drawers he cleared out for me. We even made a trip to the store, picking up essentials that I would need at his house and mine, like a toothbrush and hairbrush. After that, we curled up on the couch and watched television until it was time to go to bed.

I dragged myself out of bed at the sound of Spencer's alarm clock the next morning, it was way too early for any reasonable human being to be up. I followed him into the bathroom in a daze, throwing water on my face in an attempt to wake up. He came up behind me, wrapping his arms around me and resting his chin on the top of my head.  
"How'd you sleep last night."

"Amazing." I replied, turning in his arms and laying my head on his chest, "But it's still incredibly too early."

"Your cousin is back today, are you guys still going shopping?"

"I'm sure we will. She's overjoyed about it."

"Let me get dressed and I will take you home," he stated, pulling away and stepping back from me.

I nodded in agreement and went back to bed, waiting for him to wake me up when he was ready to go.

He dropped me off at my house on his way to work, kissing me and wishing me to have a good time with Jessie.

She was already up and ready when I walked in the door, pouncing on me for questions as I walked upstairs to get ready.

"So how did you know you're pregnant? Are you excited to having a baby genius running around!?"

"You are certifiably crazy, you know that?" I laughed, retrieving my clothes from the closet.

"Just answer the questions!"

"Well, Spencer caught on to the signs, bought a pregnancy test and I took it. I freaked out, we talked, it's all going to be okay."

She followed me out of the bathroom and into the hallway, "Are you going to get married?"

"Not right now. It's too soon. There's no reason to get married just because we are having a baby."

"I really don't think you need to be scared of Spencer Reid. He seems harmless. He's smart, he has a good job. He cares about you, Kara. That hair? So not scary."

I laughed, pausing at the bathroom door, "Yea I know, but I just need some time. I'm going to start spending more time over there. I moved some things in."

"That's a good start I guess," she said, leaning back against the wall and crossing her arms, "And he's okay with that?"

"Yea, it was his idea."

"No, the not getting married part."

"Yea, I think so," I said, shrugging my shoulders, "He didn't push it."

"Well, if I were you, I wouldn't let that tall dark and handsome man out of my line of site. When are you going to tell your parents?"

"The later the better."

"If you don't tell them, they will find out. They always do."

"Maybe not. Dad wasn't super impressed with Spencer at first but I think he grew on him throughout the dinner. Mom on the other hands was putty in the good doctor's hands from the minute she saw him. She will be thrilled I'm sure. It's Dad I'm worried about."

"What's the worse he could do, Kara. Really? You're an adult."

"Yeah I know. I don't really know why I'm so worried. I don't want to tell anyone at the moment really. Just kind of want to keep it to myself for a while," I stated.

"I can understand that. You haven't told anyone at work?"

"No, not yet."

"Stephen's going to freak," she said, shaking her head at me.

I let my mouth hand open in shock, "Why am I the only one that didn't know he has a major crush on me?!"

"Dude, you are so slow," she laughed.

"Obviously."

"Anyways, you need to hurry up and get ready! We can finish this conversation at the mall!"

I nodded, closing the bathroom behind me and hopping in the shower. After my shower, I felt more like myself. I was excited to go shopping with my cousin. I'd missed her in the days she had been gone. I wasn't use to so many days without her, what would I do when I moved out. What would she do? Who would move in with her in our home? I pulled on my t-shirt, jeans, and converse shoes, skipping on makeup for the day.

Jessie followed me out to my BMW, deciding she wanted to "ride in style" to the mall. I pushed the button to put down the top, waiting for it to settle before I sat in the car beside my cousin. I pulled my hair up, put on my sunglasses, and turned up the music. We jammed out to music for an hour until we got the mall, putting the top down once we arrived so we could go inside and get our shop on.

We made our way through the mall, stopping at every shop to look around. I decided to live vicariously through her instead of buying any clothes, seeing as I would be as big as a house in the months to come. I watched her try things on, giving her my opinion on everything. She tried to get me to try things on but I refused, explaining the pointlessness in it.

"You will be back to your skinny little curvy self in no time," she insisted, trying to shove clothing into my hands.

"And there will be another mouth to feed," I reminded her, pushing the clothes back into her hands.

"Okay, suit yourself," she stated, taking the clothes from me and sitting them down on the table, "We need to find something for the doctor, something fatherly."

I laughed, "What do you think he would want."

She took my hand, dragging me towards the next store, "Well that place looks like it has his name written all over it."

I looked up at the large multicolored sign "Spencer's," I read, laughing at my cousin's crazy sense of humor. "Cause we are going to find him something in there," I said sarcastically, following her inside. My cousin pulled me around the store, laughing at all of the dirty shirts and novelties.

"Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed, reaching for a coffee mug on a high shelf, "It's got bow ties on it and it says 'drinking for two, soon to be dad'."

"That's funny!" I agreed, "But not totally appropriate."

"Hey, you can't have coffee at the moment. I'm getting it for him!" she stated, holding it tight to her.

"I don't know that we need to encourage him to drink more coffee," I laughed, my eyes settling on a green onesie with bubble letters on it stating 'my dad's a genius' and smiled, "I'm getting him this one."

"Cute," she responded as I picked up the clothing. We walked over the counter, paying for our things and moved on to the next store.

After making it through the mall, we stopped at the food court, gorging ourselves on Chinese and talking about Jessie's new love interest. She'd met a guy at the beach while visiting her parents, spent several nights back at his hotel room and going out to parties every night. The beach where we spent so many summers could get wild. I knew exactly where she was talking about, memories of our vacations in the sand, partying until the sun came up and passing out in our hotel rooms. She was excited to meet someone and was expecting him to visit in a few weeks, meaning that I would need to spend lots of time at Spencer's during that time so I could get some sleep. Jessie was definitely not embarrassed by the sounds of sex. I'd spent many nights with my head shoved under my pillow since living with her.

We hoped back in the car, hoping to make it home before dark. We pulled into the driveway just as the sun was going down, going inside and making ourselves comfy on the couch. We spent the rest of the night painting our nails, chatting, and watching chick flicks until midnight when I couldn't hold my eyes open anymore. Spencer text me as I finished getting ready for bed.

_Did you have fun shopping with Jessie? –Dr. Reid_

_Yes, it was tons of fun! We both got u something LOL_

_I'm anxiously awaiting to see what craziness you girls have gotten into. –Dr. Reid_

_I miss u._

_I've been waiting to talk to you all day. It's hard to concentrate knowing that you are there with my child and I can't be there. Just know that I love you and if you need anything, please don't hesitate to call. –Dr. Reid_

_It's ok. U do ur thing and come home safely ok?_

_I will do my best. –Dr. Reid_

_That's all I ask. 3_

I put my phone on my bedside table, sliding into bed in my tank and boxer shorts. I left the bedside lamp on, illuminating the room so I could read a few more pages of _The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. _Spencer had left it with me so I could stay caught up, although I wasn't stupid enough to think that he wouldn't be done with the entire series before he came back. Still, it was a sweet gesture, showing me that he cared and wanted me to be involved in his life. I felt my eyes growing tired, barely able to hold my lids open but determined to finish the chapter. When I finally reached the last word, I laid the book down on my chest and let sleep come.

At some point during the night, I woke up with the frantic need to pee. I sat up in bed, rubbing my tired eyes. _Gosh it must be a hundred degrees in here, _I thought, feeling the unusual amount of sweat on my skin, my shorts sticking to me as I swung my legs over the bed. As my feet hit the ground, a sharp pain ripped through my stomach, making me double over at the waist, my book hitting the floor with a thud. I tried to sit back up, another shot of pain hitting me and causing me to cringe again. When I was finally able to sit up, I threw the blanket off of me to get out of bed when I noticed the discolored look to my shorts. My heart stopped.

_Blood._

Lots of it.

Covering the small amount of fabric in between my legs, flowing slightly onto my thigh. I stood up out of bed, feeling my body start to shake all over. I looked back onto the bed, seeing the small circle of blood there as well.

"Jessie!" I yelled, grabbing my purse and hoodie from the floor, wishing it was Spencer's name that I was calling for help.

I didn't give her time to answer before I made my way into the hallway, seeing her hobbling towards my bedroom half asleep. Her eyes opened wide in horror when she saw me, "Ohmygosh, Kara. You're bleeding."

"What-what do I need to do," I stammered, pulling my hoodie on and trying to fight back the sting of tears filling my eyes.

"We need to get you to the hospital," she said calmly, "Let's get you some pants." She ran into my bedroom, coming back out with a pair of sweat pants, and helping me put them on. She slipped an arm around me, and led me down the stairs, breathing deeply out loud to keep herself calm. I found myself copying her, trying to wrap my mind around what was happening

She grabbed her jacket off the rack, pulling it over her pajamas and grabbing her keys from the hook, "Come on."

"But-but Spencer. We need to call Spencer," I stammered, not moving from my spot at the bottom of the stairs.

Jessie put her hands on my cheeks, looking me in the eye, "First we need to get you to the hospital. The baby comes first. Then I will call Spencer. Everything's going to be okay."

_The baby._

I nodded, following her out the door with my heart racing. Once inside the car I fumbled for my phone, barely texting 'I'm bleeding' before dropping it to the floor. I leaned over in the car, searching my phone, pain shooting up my abdomen again. I groaned, forcing myself to keep looking. _I have to reach Spencer. _

"Kara, stop it," Jessie said, panic rising in her voice, "You need to stop it. Sit back in your seat and breathe. We're almost there."

I did as she asked, sitting back in the seat and biting my lip, once again feeling the tears welling up in my eyes and threatening to run over. I had to be strong. I had to breathe.

Jessie swung her car in front of the hospital, jumping out and running to my side of the car. She helped me out of the car slowly, leading me to the front of the doors and to the front desk.

"Can I help you?" the lady behind the desk asked, smiling up at me.

"I-I," I stammered, not being able to get any words out.

"My friend, she's pregnant. She woke up bleeding," Jessie explained.

The woman's eyes opened wide, "Oh, well I need you to fill out this paperwork. We will get her a wheelchair and get her back as fast as possible."

"You don't understand, she's bleeding _a lot_. You need to get her back _now_," Jessie insisted, slapping her hand on the counter.

"Ma'am I'm going to need you to fill out this paperwork," the woman said, pushing the papers towards me.

I looked at her confused, her words not making sense to me. I felt my world start narrowing, darkness creeping up on the edge of my vision. I gripped the counter to steady myself, closing my eyes and taking a few deep breathes. I could hear Jessie arguing with the receptionist, sounding like I was under water, like this was a dream, not quite real.

"Screw paperwork!" she yelled.

"Ma'am you need to calm down."

_Deep breathes, _I reminded myself, gasping for breath and feeling the overwhelming need to cry taking me over. Winning this time. The tears started streaming down my face, the world around me coming to an abrupt stop. My body froze for a second, then went into a series of convulsions , my shoulders heaving up and down in rhythm with my frantic sobs. My body numb, unable to feel the floor beneath me, the air around me. I lost track of who I was, where I was, the world folding back on itself suddenly, threatening to send me into oblivion.

I felt myself falling.

Falling backwards.

Darkness grasping for me and pulling me under, my vision blurring and surrendering to the blackness.

The sounds around me fading into nothingness as I fell backwards, hands grasping for me as I lost consciousness.


End file.
